I woke up this morning and could barely see straight. I wrote an email to my boss saying I wouldn’t be and nearly fell of my chair. This continued until about 45 minutes after my father returned from work. Apparently recovered I prepared dinner and during its course he asked if I hated the peach-scented aromatic diffusers my brother had installed as much as he did. I found one, sniffed it and immediately felt dizzy. Superman’s weakness is kryptonite, mine is a peach-scented Glade plug in knock off. Needless to say, the Robinson’s household garbage smells quite peachy. I look forward to return to work on Friday and trying to kill my brother in his sleep on Saturday.
Ready, Fire, Aim
The BA 4196 prof was out today so there was a substitute. We began reviewing the case that we’d submitted online before class and once I got over the fact that he kept saying “wolunteers” and “wolume” all was well. The review of the case was quite in depth and most of us felt we’d missed a few parts. At the end he remarked “that should help you in reviewing the case, when’s it due? Tomorrow?”
Our jaws dropped, apparently in every other section the instructor goes over the case before the study’s due rather than learning by failure as our prof. has been demanding. This certainly explained why he called us idiots compared to the grades out of other classes. In unrelated news, I’ve found I can get free shipping on garrotte wire through Amazon Prime.
Arthur C Clarke dies at 90
Arthur C Clarke, the predictor of satellite telecommunications, and guy who made people shit scared of sentient computers has died in his in Columbo, Sri Lanka. After losing Kurt Vonnegut last year we’re down to William Gibson and for emergencies JG Ballard.
If you’re lucky, you’ll get the ironic netflix ad on the AP site.
via AP
Handwriting Identification – Fail # 1
Variance of MLEs ->Variat-cat piss
Terry, the recycling hobo
Temple’s recently started recycling plastics and is promoting it with hideous plastic recycling bins. These bins as located no where near the garbage bins so I’ve taken to pulling outbottles on top and moving then to the proper can.Today, while doing this I was listening to Penny Arcade’s podcast and as I picked up a handful of bottles started giggling at the commentary I was hearing.I stopped giggling ad look down as a girl was giving me the scared (confused eyeball. Thinking about it, the fact that I hadn ‘t shaved in four days, wear shorts year round and was giggling while looking through a garbage can probably explained things.
Maybe we can get a masseuse
We had a lunch meeting with our new department manager for R&D who told us how our firm has done and what changes we might expect in the workplace. We’ve done very well and are starting to reverse some of the cost cutting measures so sometime this week our water coolers will come back. We prodded him more to see what else we could get and soon we found out if our luck continued we’d get all our old amenities back. This manager was new so I figured I could try something.
Me: Do you think we could get our meeting budget back? We used to have food during lunch meetings.
Manager:Â I don’t see why not.
Me: So, we could bring back free bagels on Friday? (which we never had)
Manager: Well, I guess if we can justify it.
Another temp picking up on what I’m doing: So you’re saying, six months or so we could get the espresso machine back? (which we also never had)
Manager: I love a good espresso.
By the time we were done we’d almost gotten a soda fountain and build-your-own sundae bar.
NES Harmonica
I will have one of these ready for Summer Camp: Nintendo Cartridge Harmonica
Via MAKE
Math Competition
I volunteered to grade tests for the Temple’s High School Math Competition but first I had to come up with an answer sheet. The first question for the 9th and 10th grade test was:
I have no idea how to evaluate that. Normally I’d take a few derivatives and pray but those are geometric functions, taking their derivatives is like digging a deep hole in sand. We’re throwing this at 9th graders? The tests should be easy to grade as I look at blank page after blank page. I’ll give them partial credits for “I have no fucking clue” or dirty limericks.
Scouting vs. Judging
Today I judged at a GP. I hate GPs, they’re as close to working in a Pennsylvania Coal Mine in the 1870s as I get with 18 hour days on my feet, repeating the same series of actions over and over again. I missed the new staff member tryout for it so I wanted to compare judging to being a staff member at Ockanickon and found some amazing similarities.
| Factor | Judging | Scout Camp | Winner |
| Dumb Uniform | X-Zebra Stripes | X-Khaki Class A | Tie |
| Knowing Byzantine Rules | X-Comprehensive Rules | X-Guide to Safe Scouting | Tie |
| Dealing with dumb kids with dumb parents | X-JSS Judging | X-Every shit 12-year old going for Eagle | Tie |
| Horrible Work Hours | X-16hr Grand Prix | X-36 hour days due to norovirus | Tie |
| Contact with Women | X-Ugly players or mothers | X-Ugly Venturers or mothers | Tie |
| Dick Leadership | X-Scott Larabee | X-Dave Hasel | Tie |
| Sense of achievement at improving America’s moral fiber | X | Scouting | |
| Ability to curse and tell dirty jokes | X | Judging |
Hm… Ability to curse versus sense of achievement at helping America’s youth, that’s a close one.
Noises from the Freezer
I was at Wawa today stocking up on a weekend worth of sandwiches. While waiting for my sandwiches I decided to browse through the ingredients of the various flavored milks and upon opening the door heard the deep baritone of James Earl Jones reading the New Testament played off of a boom box.