Randy Booz turns… something in a week or so and I need to make him a large quantity of cakes because of a promise made while running a half-marathon. Long story short, Randy doesn’t often reply to text messages, I said that if he replied to the string I had sent him I’d bake him a cake for each, I had issued nine messages at that point, thus nine cakes.

Here was the spread:
Carrot Cake
Angel Food Cake
German Chocolate Cake (actually named after a guy not the nation-state)
Oreo Cheesecake
Berry Cheesecake
Apple Cake
Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheese Bar
Peanut Butter Mousse Pie
Butter Cream-frosted Gold Cake

To prepare, I purchased 36 eggs, 6 lbs of cream cheese, 10 lbs of sugar, 10 lbs of flour, a pint of vanilla, 8 lbs of various fruits, 2 lbs of cookies and 38 oz of pepperoni. Why the pepperoni? Because before I started making nine of the tastiest cakes of my life I was sure as heck going back to a low-carb diet.

I intended to drop off of low carb eating in advance of the Rock n’ Roll half-marathon and have ended it a bit earlier than I intended. I thought I’d ease back into eating carbohydrates but, well, did not. Returning to sugar has triggered some things. Here are my notes:

  • Pears are f-ing awesome.
  • Bananas are f-ing awesome.
  • Apples are f-ing awesome.
  • A slice of cake after the above slows my metabolism down to the point where I can hibernate.
  • A second slice of cake slows it further to the point where I feel I can begin to see through time.
  • There’s a shift in bowel movement that accompanies entering and leaving keto.  Entering, I have a poop that looks like ground up mummies, exiting, I have a bowel movement so powerful it could chip porcelain.