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Andy Ihnatko was speaking to the Southern New Jersey Mac Users Group at Gloucester County College this evening (for free!) and Mike Noble and I went.  We were a spot early and a women who later turned out to be a bobblehead doll was Andy’s escort and she kept giggling and brushing her hand against him in the “oh stop, that’s TOO funny” hand motion.  Mike and I stood out from the crowd for a few reasons, first we were both under 45, second neither of us had Apple desktops or laptops, and finally we were more interested in seeing Andy than seeing Andy’s presentation and he (Andy) delivered.

Notes taken during presentation:

  • Had some weird hand motions
  • Didn’t change opening slide for 10 minutes
  • There was a guy behind us pumping a textbook in statistical methods up and down.  The book looked pristine and he was wearing a “Mac 8” t-shirt that looked to be from the Crimean War era.
  • He bumped the presentation adapter about 15 minutes in and the device locked up like a bank vault.   It took about 10 minutes for the device to restart.
  • Andy says “cara-bye-ner” not “cara-bee-ner”.
  • Used the phrase “and the moment that really put the bleach in their Campbell’s soup”.
  • “Apple defines success in the same way you and I define success: doing what you do well.”
  • Audience questions were squarely divided into two categories “TELL ME I’M SMART/GOOD ENOUGH!” and “WHY WON’T APPLE DO WHAT I WANT THEM TO DO!” with the winner being a woman who talked at Andy for 10 minutes on why Apple wouldn’t let her do a hardware unlock to change international carriers to which he replied “get the international plan”.

Despite my starting disinterest for the topic I really want an iPad now, although I don’t anticipate breaking my rule of “don’t buy anything first generation from a company that’s usually around to produce a second generation”.  One of the over-riding ideas Andy presented was that hardware was secondary to finding creative ways to allow users to interact with software, that in the absence of intuitive UI the rest is immaterial.  The premise is well reasoned and I’d only add the caveat of “if something wants to catch on in the broadest possible market”.

Pictures:

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This toupee wouldn't have been more obvious if it had a chin strap.

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Andy almost falling asleep as Brazil lady talks at him.

The design on the t-shirt Mike decided to wear

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The reason for my flight back to PA was to attend an Unemployment Services Orientation provided by the state of New Jersey which attempts to provide career services. The center provides photocopiers, phones, web access, and some instructional support that’s accessible for a mere $4.00 an hour in parking or via regional rail that’s only 3 miles away and blocked by a divided highway. The orientation itself went over printed out powerpoint slides I could have reviewed at home, phone numbers I will never call, and a litany of career resources that are either horribly below me (getting a GED) or horribly above me (Wednesday networking luncheons for MBAs).

Normally, I’d be angry about these services and I fully expected to write a post about the deplorable farce of this attempt at a public service; but I am not. The entire center and its staff exhuded genuine intent. The computers seemed reasonably up to date with two staff members on hand to offer technical support across from the only time I’ve seen a guide assist keyboard in the wild. The two women who walked us through the machine-readable resume form seemed to know hundreds of job postings off the top of their heads going through an extensive list of alternative career descriptions and aligned fields including mnemonic recitation of odd scholarships and FAFSA loopholes for in-demand jobs. These are people who want to work themselves out of a job and are doing it proudly. I hope I reach that level in whatever career I land.

That said, getting there cost $400 for a 90-minute session and I have no intent on returning for any reason below a court summons.

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I needed to get gas on the way to camp and stopped at my regular cheap Jersey station to find long lines as there appeared to be stemming from the station having a single attendant.  I saw one woman step out of her car at the pump, and attempt to operate it only to be stunned by the dizzying array of lights and return to her car to wait for the attendant.   I gunned for an opening, jumped out of my vehicle and began pumping my own gas through the insights into the process I’d gained by reading the damn instructions on the pump.  The attendant made his way over to me and reached for the nozzle where I interposed “Stand back, I’m from Pennsylvania.”  He glared at me, I glared at him, when I heard a beep.  The attendant reached over hit the receipt button, grabbed the receipt and while looking daggers  at me  said “thank you for stopping at Quik-Chek” .