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It was good to see Pat and Clara.  A sentiment I don’t think will ever change.  They let me into their home, allowed me to purchase a salad I didn’t touch, permitted me to sleep in, and let me take their picture.  After finishing my Diet Sun Drop I left for home but before going, changed my cell phone plan to remove the temporary “+ Canada” features I had enabled before leaving thinking I’d otherwise forget to turn it off and be charged for its use.  On the way back, I received two text messages from America’s hat saying how nice it was to see me during my time in Canada.  Two text messages costing a mere $4.00.

Add a calendar reminder next time, Terry.

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My car radio doesn’t always connect properly and no way of holding my phone would lean the contacts correctly for the device to properly make contact, but this appeared to work:

By hanging the phone from a sunglasses hanger the connect seemed to stick except that Joe now had a iPendulum assailing his head and the phone sometimes disconnected forcefully.  Maybe it’s time to submit an RMA.

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My number at work has recently changed and I’ve been getting ten times more wrong number calls than I normally get after my work number is arbitrarily changed.   I checked to see who the ersatz callers were trying to contact and checked our White pages.  My number was formerly Molly Simms’, that certainly explains the number’s popularity.

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While discussing campmaster weekends, Nick Lutz pulled out his phone and the table went silent.  It was huge.  After several “that’s what she said” joke we began beating on his massive phone.  The phone was larger than the three other phones at the table combined and was subject to the following insults.

  • Your phone is coal powered.
  • Is there a small man in there that runs back and forth around a mini-print shop pulling up letters and putting them on the screen?
  • Do you clear the screen by lifting it and shaking it like an Etch-A-Sketch?
  • The Soviets called, they want their first phone back.
  • It’s not actually a phone, it’s a small factory that generates one-time-use smaller phones.
  • What do you do when the nuclear pile inside goes critical?
  • Have you ever hid inside of your phone to avoid danger?
  • Have you ever had your phone seized at an airport as a weapon?
  • Does your phone get power from eating smaller phones?
  • Have you ever used it as a surf-board.
  • Does your phone have a seperate upper-case and lower case keyboard?
  • That phone’s hideous, it’s like having a baby with 60 toes.
  • That phone contains a stenographer that writes down everything he says and a small printer to produce the text.
  • I picture your phone serving as the Grand Marshall of a Gay Pride Parade, top hat, baton and all.

Did I miss any?

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So I talked to Sprint about ending my service to get an iPhone and chose to use the chat option instead of calling.  Which was surprisingly pleasant.  Here’s the transcript.

10:51:09 AM   Agent Chontay

Before I transfer, is there anything else I can assist you with?
10:51:25 AM   Customer Terry Robinson

No thank, bot.
10:51:52 AM   Customer Terry Robinson

I r type guud.
10:51:59 AM   Agent Chontay

One moment please while I transfer. Have a Good Day.
10:52:44 AM   System System

You are being transferred to another queue. Please stand by…
10:52:45 AM   System System

Chontay has left this session!
10:52:54 AM   System System

Dustin M has joined this session!
10:52:55 AM   System System

Connected with Dustin M
10:52:55 AM   Agent Dustin M

Thank you for contacting Sprint. My name is Dustin. One moment while I review the past chat so that I can further assist you.
10:56:05 AM   Agent Dustin M

I see that you are inquiring about leaving Sprint correct?
10:56:45 AM   Customer Terry Robinson

Yep. I want an iPhone.
10:56:48 AM   Customer Terry Robinson

A lot.
10:57:37 AM   Customer Terry Robinson

I was wondering if I could buy off the remaining time on my contract if I switch to another provider.
10:57:55 AM   Agent Dustin M

Are you wanting to take this number with you to the new carrier?
10:58:02 AM   Customer Terry Robinson

Yes.  I <3 my phone number
10:59:25 AM   Agent Dustin M

What you would need to do is have them port this number from our system to theirs. You would need to do that after 7/18/2008 so that you do not incur an early termination fee.
11:00:31 AM   Customer Terry Robinson

So, next Friday I can get an iPhone?
11:02:23 AM   Customer Terry Robinson

I’m really jonesing for it. I’m pretty sure owning one guarantees me a place in the afterlife.
11:02:35 AM   Agent Dustin M

You can get the I-phone whenever you would like as long as your number is not ported to AT&T before that date so that you do not incur the $200 early termination fee.
11:04:12 AM   Customer Terry Robinson

Thank you. After I transfer, do I then call/chat back to end my service?
11:04:31 AM   Agent Dustin M

When the number is ported out it will automatically cancel your account.
11:04:46 AM   Customer Terry Robinson

Ok, thank you.
11:05:01 AM   Agent Dustin M

Is there anything else that I can do for you today?
11:05:37 AM   Customer Terry Robinson

My time with Sprint has been fine, like a high school prom date where you’re just friends and don’t party afterwards but just go get milkshakes.
11:06:40 AM   Agent Dustin M

Thank you for your patience and you have a great day.