by ·0 Comments

Joe, Carl, Everett and I got together for dinner this evening. I cooked and the food cost was covered by everyone else, an arrangement I enjoy. We had pork tenderloin, a reduced spinach side, and some golden cake and caught up on what we each had done since the diaspora. Carl continued on at my previous firm and spoke of his work load. Joe mentioned how easy his job was. Everett and I told tales of unemployment. At one point we were bullshitting about dogs and Everett said “Yeah this is kind of like being in the lab again, except we were paid there”.

He’s right, we were paid there, somehow. We were paid to advance the frontier of knowledge in our particular domain and enjoy each other’s company. I hope I can’t believe I’m getting paid at my next job.

by ·0 Comments

Julia had a few people over her new house in the wake of The Firing of the Temps and Mike and I joined. Her new place was reasonably large and largely devoid of dead bodies despite her concerns. The house had ample space for both books and secrets. On top of this, it had a trampoline and a pool, things I both very much enjoyed at past points in my life.

The trampoline was enticing and was rimmed with rust as salt rims a margarita glass. Some of the springs were broken and it wasn’t quite level but I was bouncing happily soon enough and, by the end of the evening, almost able to do a 360 in the air. Mike also took to the trampoline but beyond him, no one else. Trampolines normally have maximum weight limits and these are functional limits. I remember using a trampoline rated at 250 lbs at a time when I was. My butt hit the ground with each bounce. This one was a 325 lb trampoline and with practice I’d be able to do somersaults.

The pool was a pond of disappointment. I had loved pools as my ponderous size wasn’t held against me in them and the amount of exertion I could put forth was infinitely variable from a deadman’s float to swimming laps. But this joy was now gone. Apparently, I no longer float. I had to tread water just to keep my head up and even when inhaling fully, my head would still go under. Walking around on the bottom was novel but now I needed floatation to simply tool about.

Sure, I had regained the trampoline, but at what cost?

by ·0 Comments

Today was my first day of non-temporary unemployment as an adult since… ever. I had a theoretical stream of payments in the form of unemployment and a few thousand dollars in savings that have come from me saving for an abdomenoplasty but it appears that frugality would be the watchword of my near future.

It was 10am, I had woken up earlier than I often did for work. Max didn’t know I was jobless, the cat didn’t know I was jobless. Most of my friends had no functional idea that I was jobless except my sudden free schedule.

I set myself a goal that I’d apply for at least five positions per week in a successively wider geographic region. I also set myself a limit of two social engagements per week until that application quota had been met. I cancelled a few recurring subscriptions like Audible, and made a leisurely lunch.

I was unemployed and wasn’t dead. Here we go.

by ·0 Comments

The reason for my flight back to PA was to attend an Unemployment Services Orientation provided by the state of New Jersey which attempts to provide career services. The center provides photocopiers, phones, web access, and some instructional support that’s accessible for a mere $4.00 an hour in parking or via regional rail that’s only 3 miles away and blocked by a divided highway. The orientation itself went over printed out powerpoint slides I could have reviewed at home, phone numbers I will never call, and a litany of career resources that are either horribly below me (getting a GED) or horribly above me (Wednesday networking luncheons for MBAs).

Normally, I’d be angry about these services and I fully expected to write a post about the deplorable farce of this attempt at a public service; but I am not. The entire center and its staff exhuded genuine intent. The computers seemed reasonably up to date with two staff members on hand to offer technical support across from the only time I’ve seen a guide assist keyboard in the wild. The two women who walked us through the machine-readable resume form seemed to know hundreds of job postings off the top of their heads going through an extensive list of alternative career descriptions and aligned fields including mnemonic recitation of odd scholarships and FAFSA loopholes for in-demand jobs. These are people who want to work themselves out of a job and are doing it proudly. I hope I reach that level in whatever career I land.

That said, getting there cost $400 for a 90-minute session and I have no intent on returning for any reason below a court summons.

by ·0 Comments

I went over the documentation to apply for unemployment after doing a 26-hour marathon THERE ARE COMPUTERS TO FIX day at work.  The top line said “please complete honestly”, ok, I can do this.

Question 1: Are you ready and willing to immediately begin full-time employment? O Yes   O No

That question seriously lacks a “Kinda, give me a day or two” option.

Question 2: Do you plan on doing most of your job seeking in New Jersey? O Yes   O No

Damn… This is going to be harder than I thought.