Chris: Do you like hiking?
Me: Yes, slowly.
Chris: That’ll work.

Today we hiked the New River Gorge trail in the heart-ish of West Virginia.  Considering its shape, history, and denizens, I’m not sure if West Virginia can be said to have a heart but we were going to go into it.  The trail head was about an hour from Chris and Christine’s and took us through prime Deliverance territory with many car-sickness-inducing turns.  I am familiar with the dilapidation of PA’s failed coal and steel towns, I am intimate with the idea of a left behind hovel, and I find beauty in the Americana of an area that time has moved past but West Virginia was altogether different.  PA has rust, oh god does it have rust but it is a polished rust.  A combination of dried gangue and insistence wears away the corners of formerly proud industry into dignified relics of an era where an industrial romantic would say a region sacrificed itself to make America great.  Bethlehem understands that it will never be what it was and US Steel doesn’t shit itself about its prospects for tomorrow.  West Virginia is angry about it.  The rust is pointy and comes with a sense of entitlement of “we were supposed to have it great”.  Buildings are empty in a haphazard way compared to Austin Dam or Centralia’s more clumped abandonment.  PA’s decay is brown with a hint of red, West Virginia’s is a menacing red with a hint of brown.

The supply of cookies I made had been picked away and Jon had a good luck cigarette at the head of the trail.  The trail itself was well-made, probably one of the 8th Wonder Trails forged by the Civilian Conservation Corps during the halcyon days of Roosevelt’s Alphabet Soup.  Conifers and man-eating rhododendrons lined most of the trail except in places were it was simply a field of dun-color deciduous trunks.

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A Path in the Woods

Luckily, this is a problem solvable with HDR.

At the apex, if the several hundred foot summit can be called such, we stared at haze and wreck fall had made of nature.

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Defiant Stone and Pine

We walked a bit more and poked our heads out at each new “peak” on the trail showing some new twist to the New River.  After a bit, they all looked like this to me:

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Fake TVA Photo

I imagine this is what the valley looked like before Ted Turner colorized it.

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Chris in perspective

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Staying in Touch

After the underwhelming stroll we had a much more compelling lunch of pizza with Gorgonzola cheese, chicken, and pesto, followed by presentable butter toffee ice cream.  This was my first exposure to Charleston, WV “the Northern-most Southern town” and wish not destroy the placidity of its quaintness.  There was a book store with expensive art next to a pizza joint and an organic ice cream bar with crappy pictures on the wall.  The capital of The Land Time Forgot appears to be a New England liberal arts college town.  Yes, I know it’s much larger, but I prefer to preserve it as the 2 block x 1 block area I saw.

That evening, the urge to host was displayed by Christine’s interest in board games which Jon took as his cue to go running.  I offered to show Christine how to make hazelnut coffee truffles and after a trip to Wal-mart’s circus of bruised souls/fruits we began making them as The Tempest played on TV.  “Let’s make truffles” turned into “I’ll make truffles” and we cleansed shitty zipper-ridden Shakespeare from our pallets by watching Top Gear.  I hope they too stand the test of time.

Virginia’s road signage is a strange beast.  When crossing through more rural areas there seem to be a lot of reminder signs like “two way traffic on this road” and a secondary set of “No Passing Zone” signs in areas without dashed center lines.  Additionally, there seemed to be a lot of signs warning about upcoming traffic control devices like warning signs for stop signs as well as signs for traffic lights even when the sign and the control device were both say on the downward side of hill.  This may be an attempt to keep the department of Public Works busy, but I hear that’s done by planting poppies in the median and then tilling and replanting them each year.

Entering West Virginia proved much more aesthetically pleasing than I thought.  Having seen Pennsylvania’s coal regions, I thought West Virginia’s would be the same but there was a marked lack of windblast hellscape.  Turns out that West Virginia merely does a better job of hiding it.  My host in WV was Chris Dodds/LiquidChicken and I got to meet his wife who sadly was not the chosen subject of the only well-lit, reasonably composed picture I got of her.

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Apparently the cup is more compelling than I thought.

Chris was the first person I met that I didn’t really know much about except for rough information about his past.

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LiquidChicken

I’d never heard him talk and the combination of intelligence and an Oklahoma accent was new to me.  But, as I learned in college, class is a far bigger determiner of mannerisms than region or ethnicity.  Proof:

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iPhones: Bringing 20 somethings together since 2007.

We ate dinner at O’Charlies, a presentable chain that was the first of many locations I found to have Diet Mountain Dew on tap.  I’ve almost never encountered this in a restaurant setting and failed to pace myself for the fact that I’d eventually need to use a bathroom that wasn’t mine.  Chris’s has three entrances so I felt like I was going into lockdown in a panic room.  The urgency was exacerbated by him initially giving me directions to his bathroom that ended in a coat closet.  He nearly became the owner of a brown coat.

My next stop was in Florida which was a bit more than I could safely drive in a night and since few of the hotel billboards in the Carolina’s seem to list price, I had to do the safest thing I could: Drive past a sign for an upcoming hotel complex, go to the mobile version of hotels.com to check prices and stop at the first one under 50 dollars that offered free wifi.  I went through this cycle three times before stopping at 1 AM at a Rodeway Inn which was staffed entirely by Indian Americans and a slightly more presentable version of the Simpson’s crazy cat lady.  The web access was insufferable; 300kbps should not qualify as “High Speed”.