Dad: Mom wants a laptop like mine.
Me: Ok, I can find another.
Dad: I was thinking of getting something with a touch screen. I don’t really like the keyboard thing. I see ads for some pad computer that looks sharp.
Me: You want an iPad?
Dad: I think, I’ve got to try another thing.
Me: I did not pay the Internet bill for the last 8 years so you could waltz in with your fancy tablet like you own the god damn Internet. If you’re going to learn how to use a computer, you’re going to use a big boy computer and unless you plan on also getting an espresso machine and a pair of Birkenstocks, you’re not going to get an iPad.
Dad: If I get one, I’ll give you my laptop so you can give it to mom as a Christmas gift and avoid asking her what she wants.
Sometimes my dad is a latter-day Kissinger.