I was stopped in the warehouse today by a gentleman in the mailroom.
Him: So, how do you come up with your amazing ideas in R&D?  You must spend hours reading all those trade publications that go up stairs to see what’s on the cutting edge.
Me: Not really, I mean, it’s a shit bag, better holographic embedded plastics aren’t really going to help us.  Most of our ideas come in dreams or off of cereal boxes.
Him: And you guys, like patent ideas, no?  That’s got to be crazy.
Me: Well, it’s mostly uninteresting stuff like “an improved odor control pathway through an attached ostomy device.  I think you’re giving us too much credit.
Him: I’ll stop interrupting, you’ve probably got new ways of saving lives and improving elder care to do…
Him: Yeah, that.
After that conversation I felt bad sitting at my desk reading gizmodo.com and uncyclopedia.org for the next two hours.