Knife in Desk Drawer

I regularly bake and bring cakes and such to work and on Wednesday I brought peanut butter brownies but forgot to take the knife I used home.  I use a large chef’s knife because well, I bought an extra during a buying binge brought on by a combination of Amazon Prime, One Click Purchasing and 20% off homewares.  The knife had been cleaned by someone (thanks, anonymous coworker!) and placed rather plainly on my desk, where I imagine it’s sat for two days scaring and peaking the curiosity of passersby.  I put it in the pen slot in my desks center drawer and later scared the shit (figuratively) out of a coworker who rooted into my desk to borrow a pen only to find the knife sitting there.

In the discussion afterwards we decided to put a label of some sort on the knife and these recommendations fell into some general categories:

  • Warning: “Don’t touch my pens!” or “The cake is a lie!”
  • Women’s Name: Either something cute or mellifluous “Becky” or “Samantha”
  • Women’s Name: Creepy or Crazy “Mildred” or “Ophelia”
  • Title: “The Lasseratrix”, “Razor’s Envy” or “Truthbringer”
  • Emotion: “Passion” or “Desire”

Tell me what you think.