Surgeon General Warning: This post is largely self-aggrandizing. Skip to the previous post to hear about my brother’s pr()n habits.
I’ve windmill slammed my phone, again. Everything appeared fine until the alarm didn’t go off. Well, it did but produced no sound. I thought I may have just missed it so I set it for 10 minutes and slept for an extra two hours until the stroke of 10:30. As a final check, I set the timer for 3 seconds and when done heard nothing. Hm… until I get it fixed, I’ll have to put it in my pocket with enough change so it’ll jingle.
I get to work in time to miss lunch with coworkers and discover that I have until the stroke of midnight to relearn the rules of Magic and pass the L2 Recertification exam. I started scanning like it was my job, which it is, using the time while documents were going through the ADF to figure out the interaction of continuous effects and re-read the penalty guidelines while taking bathroom breaks. Wizards.com, and most Magic sites are blocked at work as “games” so I prepared by repeatedly hitting the “random” button on magiccards.info. I needed an 80% to pass, took a practice exam got a 67%, cried a little, and started the main exam. 119 minutes and 41 seconds into the 2 hour exam I hit the submit button. I got a 90%. This is the statistical analog of a dog winning “The Weakest Link” because everyone just overlooked him or my brother passing a breathalyzer test because a muon arced some logic chip. Ignoring the CONFIDENTIAL note at the top I printed it out and placed it proudly on fridge. I celebrated with the materials on hand and liberally applied butter cream frosting to a freezer-burnt chocolate waffle. It didn’t taste quite right so I washed it down with the last of the Sparkling Apple Cider left over from New Years.
I hear to get L3 I have to beat an existing L3 in ritual combat and consume their brain to gain their understanding of copying effects and 2HG rules. I recognize this post is largely me congratulating myself but there was no one awake for me to scream to except the now very confused players on my Team Fortress 2 team.