One of our coworkers returned from a business trip with a local “treat” of her destination, Cherry Mashes.  We were unsure of what was in them and the individual packages were devoid of an ingredients list so my boss, a former engineer for the flavors division of a food firm tried one:

Me: So what’s in it?
Him: Hm… a complex combination of grade F hazelnuts, chocolate from cocoa that may have been lit on fire and a vat of artificial flavoring that may have had a bowl of cherries next to  it.

The land of Paula Dean has failed us.