Reply to Notion of the Obvious

I hate when a store attendant sees your collection of purchases and makes an obvious observation.  The one I get most common is during my monthly drink trek where buy 15-20 bottles of diet Mountain Dew and there’s a fair chance the clerk will say “thirsty?” coupled with a low chuckle.   Today, I purchased four bottles of drain cleaner of various stripes (I always pit the name brand against the generic) and some gala apples.  The clerk said “got a clogged drained?” followed by a chuckle to herself.  I slowly panned my head away from the magazine rack until I made eye contact and simply said in a low grumble “they’ll never see it coming.  I don’t need a bag for the victory apples”.  He jaw dropped a bit, but that could have been her normal slack-jawed repose.  I think I found a new generic response.