Most rituals of American Christmas were outsourced to one our tenants’ girlfriends. She decorated the tree, purchased a poinsettia, and even set up stockings. Today, she filled those stockings but with only two items: candy canes and wet wipes. Either she was never able to master the tactic of slowly removing the wrapping as one finishes the candy cane or doesn’t think we have. I suppose an alternative is her simply thinking us pigs, also reasonable.