My productivity has been… below average over the last few days.Â I encountered some roadblocks that I’ve not had the capacity to tackle in a meaningful way and I just finished a tech project that also made it appear that I was suddenly doing nothing.Â My boss saw me sitting listlessly reading the forums for a software tool we used and said “I need to talk to you about something later.”Â Crippling existential dread would probably be the appropriate descriptor to the response I have to such statements.Â I know I’m being fired in two months, but still, I’d rather go gracefully.Â I quickly went through the checklist of things I could do right now that my boss could reasonably ask me if I’ve completed and over two hours knocked off three of them.Â Later, he returned called me into his office and asked the following:
Him: Terry, there’s something I’ve been meaning to bring up with you for a while but just haven’t known how to approach it.
Him: Well, to put it bluntly, my mouse sucks.Â Do you have a recommendation for one?
Me: Yes, the Logitech G500.
Him: *checks Amazon* That looks like it’ll do perfectly.Â Your usefulness never seems to end.