Joseph Heller’s Server Management

One of my duties is to patch our servers when we find issues.  It’s not terribly difficult but involves some things people are uncomfortable with like Remote Desktop, Drive Mapping, and the Command Line, so I gladly do it as a two-hour “Get Out of Legitimate Work Free” card.   I wanted to patch one of our systems as a test and requested remote access as the access restrictions had changed and was surprised by the response:

Him: What would you like to do?
Me: Apply a patch to the test machine.
Him: Please provide documentation that the patch will function.
Me: I can’t, that’s why I want to try it on the test machine.
Him: I’m sorry, I cannot allow access without proof of efficacy.  You can try applying the patch locally.
Me: So, you recommend I take the software to which we only have one license, took a specialist 3 weeks to setup, and normally requires 3 PCs in a cluster to run, and run it on my local machine?
Him: *no response*
Me: *hang up*

I’m going to take a stab in the dark and assume this person isn’t familiar with the setup.  Work around: Create a batch file that when run produces a wall of text followed by the line “Patch Applied” and send him a screen shot of that.  If that works, my last few weeks of work just got a lot easier.