Boss: Hey, please go to the product lab and make a few wafers on the setup there.
Me: You mean the setup that entirely consists of an aluminum slab held in place with duct tape using a die for a different product set with dimensions that may not be physically possible to weld?
Boss: Yeah, think you can do that?
Me: Yes, just let me get my physics gun to blow a hole in thermodynamics and it’ll be fine.
Boss: Thanks.
Month: October 2010
Simple Computer Chain
I want to be able to work on my team’s dedicated server from work but was thwarted by the fact that there are restrictions on remote desktop. I asked what it’d take to get by this restriction and I was told “it couldn’t be done from your PC”, really? So my desktop had off-site remote desktop access turned off, but not on site. So, I wound up remoting to another desktop, so I could remote home, so I could remote to the server. Simple.
Disappearing Lightbulbs
I brought some lamps into work so that I could better illuminate some work I was doing which required the big beefy bulbs I put in them. I came back to them today and couldn’t find them:
Me: Did you seem my lamps?
Boss: Yes, I put them in the drawer by your desk. You know, you really shouldn’t leave those out, otherwise someone may bump into them, knock them over, and then have to find a way to clean up the shattered bulbs without leaving a trace.
Me: Thanks for the concern.
I found the lamps where he said they were but the bulbs were gone. Hm…..
It’s Still Good
Me: I can’t use this material, it’s expired.
Coworker: Not necessarily…
Me: It’s clearly passed the date, I’m going to throw it out.
Coworker: It’s clearly unused, so it’s probably better than something that’s newer.
Me: Ok, that statement is so dumb, I’m going to ask you to repeat it in 30 seconds. If you can with a straight face, I’ll use it.
*30 seconds later*
Coworker: Can’t do it.
Me: Good.
Camporee: Day 2
I’ve been the Playwicki program chair for about 3 years and I’m slowly tiring of it. It’s been a while since I had a genuine sense of satisfaction after an event rather than “it’s done”. I mentioned this to a few people and the response seemed to have been “say thank you to Terry more”.
I was very happy to see that all the cardboard from the weekend fit into my car, and even if we didn’t find the right dumpster it was at least deposited at a “Sunoco on Street Road” which was our only direction. The field was cleared and the kids were gone by 11:00 AM and I felt very tired. Not a “nap will fix me” tired but a long brooding fatigue that comes from the weight of something providing support, in the way a marble column may tumble if the roof above is moved. I had a template for what to do next time, but I’d rather not be the one to implement it.
And this too shall pass.
Camporee: Day 1
I learned something quickly about Boy Scout events that involve camping; everything runs 30 minutes late, because of the troops. At Webelos events if I’m 15 minutes late to start kids will explode, but I could schedule four hours for a lunch break and it still wouldn’t be enough time. The opening training was a run-through of how EDGE works, the Scout training method so amazing there are almost no formal publications that list it and whose details are faint. I taught the EDGE song which involves marching around yelling “Explain Demonstrate Guide Enable” dozens of times and at some points includes arm motions. This nearly killed me as my song lacks a break between verses and I still had a heck of a cough but I think the kids got the point. The rest of the morning went well and the activities I cooked up were also well received.
Camp Cherokee provided wonderful facilities which included an evacuation area, a zip line, a rock wall, and more importantly, cell reception. Schedule changes were transmitted via text message as were dinner invites which proved handy as I could compare my options without offending (cheese steaks won out but I should have gone for the pot roast).
The afternoon consisted of just open activities which I felt was risky but was rewarded with this:
This is Norman Rockwell caliber shit. Kids doing a flag ceremony in uniform with a setup they created as the sunsets. I didn’t even think this actually happened except in Boys’ Life magazine or in some Panglossian simulacrum of Scouting. I’m glad it exsists.
[flickr album=72157625209341378 num=30 size=Thumbnail]
New Material
The Friday of the Camporee was scheduled to include an instructional campfire. Most kids don’t know how to assemble a skit from scratch nor how to make a bad one suck less, so Joe and I decided to show them. We put together a collection of songs, games, and cheers (exactly zero of them, I hate cheers) but wanted a new skit. I scoured the web for new materials and after checking at least two hundred links I found a single new run-on.
Two guys are throwing propane back and forth. 3rd guy comes by, asks what they’re doing. Response? Passing gas.
Hard to believe that a skit involving throwing a propane can near a fire was the only one I hadn’t seen. This is why I entitled this section “Run-ons: Where funny goes to die”.
Anti-Efficiency
Boss:Â We need 30 of these made, how long will it take you?
Me: Well, each setup takes about 15 minutes so, I’d say 15 hours.
Boss: But that’s enough time to make 60.
Me: Have you ever done this process? It’s mindless process intersperse with ones that require mental focus capable of bending spoons. I have to take a coffee break every five or my brain will simultaneously explode from over-use and atrophy.
Boss: Yeah, I’ve done it once or twice myself. I’ll give you three days.
That’s empathy.
Ax Sharpening
There are two time sinks I encounter: Saw sharpening and ax sharpening. Saw sharpening occurs in cases where a little prep work could save a lot of task time. The name comes from someone having difficulty cutting wood with a dull saw. Someone suggests they sharpen the saw to which they reply “I don’t have any time, I’ve got all this wood to saw”. Ax sharpening comes from a story of a guy who wants to cut some wood but first sees his ax is dull. So before he can cut he needs to sharpen his ax, but first has to replace his whetstone, but first he needs to fix a flat tire…
My boss was out to meetings most of today and at the end asked me what I did.
Me: Depends, either one thing or eight things.
Him: What was the one thing?
Me: Installed a UPS
Him: What were the eight things?
Me: IÂ added InstallCleanup to fix an Office install, so I could add Java, so I could add Firefox, so I could overcome network configuration, so I could load the configuration url, so I could set the “boot on power return” to “no”, so I could use the UPS.
Him: Sounds like an efficient wasteful day.
Detailed Documentation
My new boss showed me a process today and I documented it.
Me: How exact do you want this?
Him: As exact as you can manage.
–20 minutes later–
Him: Ok, read back the last few steps.
Me: Remove the pegs from the alignment board, remove second piece of backing paper flip over the stack and apply second film. Curse loudly at realizing you shouldn’t have flipped it. Declare that this is a stupid material and start over.
Him: Sounds good.