To Fayetteville

My car radio has been steadily declining over the past few weeks and started to exhibit odd behavior.  Whenever I switched on my high beams or activated the turn signal, the radio would cut out and restart.  Additionally, the iPhone dock on the radio stopped working with my phone and I initially assumed it was the age of my phone combined with a basic problem of the radio and my crappy wiring casing these problems.  These concerns disappeared after the battery terminals on my car were cleaned.  Battery terminals, really?

I left at around 9 AM with the intention of reaching Fayetteville by 11 PM and things were going fine until I approached Roanoke, VA.  Traffic slowed to a crawl and I soon saw why: a truck that appeared to be made out papier mache was upturned and surrounded by something that looked like glitter.  Either a million defective champagne party poppers went off or a bunch Liberace’s stunt doubles had undergone spontaneous human combustion.   I met Doug Bowser for a late lunch, had the world’s tiniest chicken sandwich and bought out the remaining InterroMugs and InterroGlasses.  Doug refused a cookie as he was eschewing carbs and I continued to Fayetteville.

Carl and I have played TF2 together for about two years and he invited he into his home while he was under the influence of one of the biological weapons his kids brought home from school.  We watched a slew of Science Channel shows and in thanks I offered him a cookie.  He refused as nothing was staying down.  When I showed my frustration at having been cookie-blocked twice he replied with, “earlier my asshole was in the toilet.  I needed a fishing net to get it out.”  Ok, then.