Someone had a bed to get rid off and I found a new owner and a way to move it so I set out to connect the two.  I loaded the mattress into the truck frame and set about tying it in place with a sequence of clove hitches, two half hitches with a round turn, and what I thought was a constrictor hitch.  This impressed the bed donor:

Him:  Wow, you weren’t lying when you said you were a Scout.
Me: You do pick up some useful skills.
Him: So, you could like, survive in the wild for a week if you had to?
Me: Would I be able to get web access at some point?
Him: Probably not.
Me:  Survive, yes; live, no.