Dad:  What are all the packages?
Me: Socks.  I finished my 12 part sock bracket and the Thorlo Unisex Wool padded hiker and Wigwam Merino Wool comfort hiker socks won.  I guess it was more efficient to have four smaller boxes or they came from different sources.
Dad:  I wish you had told me.
Me: About my socks?
Dad: Yes, I just purchased 12 pair of crappy Hanes when I realized that life was too short to wear bad socks.
Me:  You can always give the socks to Max [our dog, a prodigious thief of socks. -Ed.], he’d love you forever if you did.
Dad: He’s a dog, he already does.
Me: But now he’d love you forever, and have a sock to show for it.