Not Quite Chocolate

I don’t want to quite say I hate my work’s sales teams, but when R&D launches a multimillion dollar product, we get a nice lunch, when a sales team beats their sales goal, they’re flown to an exotic local and any paraphernalia of such trips serves as a building-wide emetic.  Apparently, in 2010 some arbitrary goal was met so bars of white chocolate were minted to celebrate a trip to Maui and they were made in such quantity that there were enough that the proles could have some.  It’s a nice idea, except for it’s white chocolate, which technically isn’t chocolate, and I spent much of the day reminding people.

Coworker: Terry, did you catch the chocolate outside the office row?
Me: No, there’s no chocolate there.
Coworker: It’s white chocolate.
Me: Which isn’t chocolate.  It cocoa butter, sugar, and cream.
Coworker: That’s basically chocolate.
Me: Nope, no cocoa solids, not chocolate.  That’s like dropping an olive into a bottle of vermouth and saying “it’s basically a martini”.
Coworker: That’d be a crime.
Me: You know what else is a crime?
Coworker: Murder?
Me: That too… and calling white chocolate chocolate.
Coworker: The world must be told.

I’m on it, buddy.