Wanda, my 2006 Toyota Matrix, was in need of some cosmetic attention so today I set out to wash, vacuum, and Armor-all her for the first time in, if not her life, at least a pretty long stretch.  As I set to cleaning, the flavor text of “Tromp the Domains” came to mind:

• White stain on door (May 2010) – When driving from Austin, TX to Tucson, AZ I tried to save time by brushing my teeth while driving.  Too late did I learn that the viscosity of toothpaste spittle prevented me from reasonably spitting it out my window while driving and much dribbled down my door.  The residue didn’t come off with normal wiping but Armor-All took care of it.
• Green splotch under paint on bumper guard (Sept 2010) – I drove through what may have been a cloud of locusts going through Kansas.  The front of my car looked washed in green hamster blood, but some had gotten under the paint and was only visible once the paint came off.
• Pine needles in hatchback recess (Nov 2010) – The Everglades had their beauty which I paid for with blood, almost literally, as I think the slash pine needles in the seal of my rear door came from me trying to escape bugs after taking pictures.  I had parked under a copse of slash pines and didn’t bother to brush the branches away before closing the door.

Were I industrious, I could probably trace where the salt crust on the inside of my wheel well came from.