I needed more 2-stroke engine oil, and went to TruValue to get some. On checkout:

Attendant: Would you like to become a member of the TruValue Member Club?
Customer-in-Front: No.
Attendant: I think you should.
Customer-in-Front: Ok. *receives and fills out form, line advances*
Attendant: Would you like to become a member of the TruValue Member Club?
Me: Will it reduce the price of the items I’m purchasing?
Attendant: No.
Me: Will this purchase reduce the cost of future purchases of similar items?
Attendant: No. But you should.
Me: Will it guarantee me a place in the after life?
Guy Behind Me: *huff* C’mon!
Attendant: No.
Me: Did it save the guy in front of me any money?
Attendant: No.
Guy Behind Me: I don’t have all good damn day!
Me to Guy: Really? The guy in front of us took 2 minutes to apply for a member card that in no way affected his purchase and you’re going ape on me for asking about the program? Calm down. If you want me to, I’ll apologize for having a human interaction.

The fellow behind me glared at me. He was twice my size and if he wanted to rumble in the parking lot, I would have quickly said uncle. Nothing came of it, and as I drove off, I looked for him in my rear-view mirror. He looked sad.