Splainin’ To Do

For the last few days, my work time has consisted of testing hospital incontinence devices that look like inflatable donuts attached to a garden hose.  One test involves determining how much force it takes to remove one from a fake butt and today the housekeeper asked me what the item was for.  The housekeeper speaks very little English and I speak enough Spanish to be dangerous so I try my best.  The conversation translated looked like this:

Him: What’s that for?
Me: People who are in hospitals.
Him: What kind of people?
Me: People who are very sick.
Him: Oh, does everyone use one?
Me: No, *thinks about how to say what it does with my meager Spanish* it is for people with broken asses.
Him: *look of horror* I understand.

Just in case you need to know, “Sirve para las personas con culos rotos” roughly means “it is for people with broken asses.”  I should work for the UN.