Drain Removal

The drainage tube extended a full 8″ into me from the start of the incision below my armpit and parallel with my nipple.  It sat collecting fluid into a suction bulb that I drained every 12 hours which I assiduously measured as a proxy for healing.  I had four of these in me, in total, two into my chest and two into my abdomen.  The drainage rate on two had slowed enough that the surgeon felt comfortable removing them and today I had that done.  Removal was very quick requiring a snip from scissors on a suture and a methodical tug.  The surgeon also wanted to check on my scar sight and began peeling the adhesive plastic layer from my stomach to investigate.
Surgeon: I’m going to start peeling back the adhesive layer, you may feel a bit of pain.  Tell me if you want me to stop. *pulls*
Me: Stop.
Surgeon: Ok, I’ll try slower. *pulls*
Me: Stop!
Surgeon: I seem to be taking the hair too.  You have a bit more of that than most of my patients.  But we need to get this off so…
Me: How about I take it off in the shower when I get home.  You said I could shower again, right?
Surgeon: That should do.
I went home, excited to shower, and removed my clothes and the two layers of wraps.  This left me holding the two bulbs still in me while I set the shower to the appropriate temperature, got in, and felt water from something besides a sink tap wash over me for the first time in nine days.  I soaped up the area around the adhesive wrap and began peeling.  Despite the action of the water and soap, peeling hurt and took much hair with it.  Once I had peeled the adhesive layer to the point of my surgical scar,  the pain skyrocketed and the peel rate went down again by half.  I began running out of hot water.  I was standing in the shower, holding two vacuum drainage bulbs, being pelted with cold water.  My vision began to narrow and I felt like I was about to faint.  I refuse to drown in my own shower, so I crawled out, toweled off a little, and sat on the toilet to finish what I had started.  When done, I held up the adhesive piece which looked like a wookiee pelt and I scratched my head.  My hair was still oily.  I spent 30 minutes in the shower and had failed to actually wash.  I rewrapped myself, rehung my blood grenades and crawled into bed to let the hot water heater recharge.