Daily Show

Suzie had gotten tickets for Janine, Whit, Suzie, and I to see the Daily Show in New York City so today I played hookie.  I wanted to look reasonable but found that none of my pants would fit.  Surgery plus swelling plus the abdominal wrap had added enough inches that my size 36-38 pants would not fit me.  I pondered wearing shorts to NYC but the daytime high was about 10 degrees and I couldn’t move quickly.  I rooted around in the attic for anything that might fit the bill and found a single old pair of gray pants that stayed in place without a belt.
I shuffled to my car, we drove to Hamilton station, I shuffled onto the train, we trained to New York, I shuffled to the subway, we subwayed, we shuffled to the Daily Show to get tickets.  Hours later, we went in for the actual taping.
Entering the studio involved passing through a metal detector and I figure I’d try to get out ahead of it:
Me: I’m recovering from surgery and have an abdominal binding on.  It’s going to set off the metal detector.
Security Guard: May I see it?
Me: Yeah *unbuttons shirt*
Security Guard: Holy shit. Step through.  Oh, what are those?   *points to drainage bulbs*
Me: Do you really want to know?
Security Guard: Is it blood?
Me: No.
Security Guard: What is it?
Me: Wound exudate.
Security Guard: Oh, of course.
We sat in the studio where it was a little chilly and watched as young Jewish men shuffled people into the studio.  A warm-up act came out as a kind of comedic fluffer and he did a few standard bits followed by the tried and true favorite of picking on audience members.  Those from far away were noted, those who had odd jobs were identified, and Whit was mocked for looking like he had knocked off Mr. Rogers wardrobe.  The show itself was enjoyable and I was glad for the experience.  I did some more shuffling and I was again home.
Being out in the world and infirmed was eye opening.  Everything took longer to get to, sitting and standing took effort, movements through public spaces were much more deliberate, and I walked a little bit away from everyone.  I felt and moved like an elderly person.  One behavior I caught myself doing was walking slowly and in the center of the sidewalk.  I didn’t want to bump into anything so this is naturally where I walked, slowly.  I hope I remember my experience next time I mentally curse a septuagenarian on the pavements of Philly.