My 8-Port Switch took a beating while at Summer Camp and I puchased a new one from Staples a week ago with plans on returning the old one in it’s stead. Â I walk in non-schalantly and put the perfectly boxed switch on the customer service counter and then my plan hit a snag. Â The service agent turned the device around and showed me where I had marked in multi-color Sharpie which ports worked and which went to what device. Â Oops. Â So, I did the only thing I could, I told a rediculous lie. Â I looked the rep straight in the eye and said “It came like that”.
Category: Daily Highlights
Ah, my perineum!
After watching a lot of Voyager yesterday, I noticed today’s episodes stalled. After fiddling I discovered it was my new Plextor PX-755SA, THE ONE I GOT TWO FUCKING DAYS AGO. In that this is my 3rd Plextor drive that will have needed replacement in 2 months, I’ve created a new device for Plextor customer service. 
I call it the taint-bat. The custom taintpin is designed to maximize taint-bat combat and ensure good connection. The pin is located on the sweetspot to minimize vibration and lead to a more comfortable experience for the taint-bludgeoner.
Pride about knowledge of Prejudice
I was reviewing for my Soc 0064 American Ethnicities exam and was worried that discriminatory lending was the only case of discrimination without prejudice that I could come up with. Â Worried that this was insufficient I smiled when I saw the 2nd test question started out with “John works at a bank and cannot lend to those with bad credit, which may overproportionately affect African Americans, this is an example of”. Â I got a few glances as I pumped my fists wildly.
CIT, megatharium, what's the difference?
I received a quotation for antlatlry department at camp and was surprised when the total cost would be under $1000 including targets. Â This of course, does not include labor but hey, that’s what CITs are for. Â Now, I’m trying to find appropriate targets and am wondering if instead of using many targets like say a foam deer, I can save money and just buy one foam mastadon. Â I know Scouting doesn’t permit shooting at animal likenesses but in this case at least the kids won’t have a gut reflex to shoot at the damn thing since it’s been extinction for 10,000 years.
Trash of the Old Republic
I woke up late and some of my stuff was not cleaned up in the main room of Totem Lodge. Â I left to take care of something and came back seeing a pile of my stuff on the table, Mrs. Lutz told me to clean up my trash. Â I smiled when I saw Plato’s Republic in the center of the pile.
OqG, ta ch'upaH!
C. Fosmire was tired of indirect Scrabble competition as I shot words through other people so we had a throwdown.  A narrow victory in the first game gave way to a narrow loss in the second.  I would have been able to snatch victory but I later discovered that Qugei and OqG only exist as words in Klingon.
When life gives you lemons… enjoy having lemons.
I broke the arm off my office chair. Â Since the two arms are the only things holding the back up, I also lost the back. Â So, I’m proud to say I’m the only person I know with an executive leather rotating wheeled stool.
Jim want you have beautiful
Today I mourned the loss of an iron-clad rule of test-taking: that the answer to a multiple choice question must fit grammatically into the question. Â For instance, if the question is “Jill decided to fellate, or ____ the officer rather than getting the speeding ticket.” And the possible answers are Vermillion, Perform Fallatio, Running, and Wenkle Rotary Engine, it’s easy to rule out the 1st and 4th as they answer must be a verb. Â Not so when your instructor is from the land of curry and the Bhagavad-Gita. Â Anything goes! Â Question: “_____ allow the manager to properly sources costs to its maker.” Â Answer? Cost-Allocation Systemizes!
Atlatl Test Flight
I tried the atlatl for the first time. Â BETTER THAN SEX! Â It is the world’s least graceful projectile but makes almost no noise as it lands. Â This means I could be walking around Temple’s campus, unleash an atlatl dart on some trailer tornado-bait white trash skank mama and disappear into the multitudes and escape unscathed. Â During the evening, Dave came over and after driving around discovered that Feasterville has few good night atlatl practice areas. Â I plan on writing the township about this.
Overkill saves overdone
Ryan has been doing a lot of the cooking recently so I prepared marinaded pork for him, my father and I.  I prepared this in my typical way:  A pan sear in a cast iron skillet for 90 seconds a side followed by 2 minutes in an oven set to kill (500°F).  Little did I realize how long I had left the skillet on the burner top on high as later I would discover that the iron was oxidizing off.  Anyway, I add some salt and peanut oil and turn my head only to hear a “woof” followed by a nutty smell.  I’m pretty sure my dad saw this coming as he went to open the door for me.  How did I get a 800°F cast iron pan out the door you may ask?  Because like any incompetent chef I use flame proof welding gloves instead of pot holders.  Fuck you, Martha Stewart Everyday.