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I’ve received two medications for my back condition.  One of the medications is a muscle relaxant that works too well at moments and the other one is an anti-inflammatory drug that causes drowsiness.  So about three times today, I started nodding off at my chair and my muscles would go slack causing my head to wail against the keyboard and sometimes I snap back to consciousness throw my head up and send daggers down my lower back creating an odd sonic signature.

*snore* *slam* *whoosh* “AAAAAH”.  Oh the wonders of modern pharmacopoeia.

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I visited my adversarial doctor regarding the growing back pain and had the following exchange worthy of Aaron Sorkin:

Doctor: He’s your perscription
Me: For……
Doctor: Your back, I think it’s muscular and would send you in for an MRI but I’m pretty sure you won’t fit in the machine.
Me: So what caused it?
Doctor: Pickle jar.
Me:  Really?  I don’t eat pickles.
Doctor: Hm… maybe mustard, how about jam?
Me: I do enjoy a good jam.
Doctor: Probably jam then.
Me: So I should stop eating jam?
Doctor: No, just the jars.
Me: Don’t eat jam jars?
Doctor: No opening them.
Me: But I haven’t opened a jar of jam in weeks.
Doctor: It could be the fact that your fat.  Or maybe you lifted something heavy (giggles) or maybe how you sleep.
Me: So you jumped to the pickle jar before saying it’s caused by me having a BMI that’s usually listed in up arrow notation?
Doctor: I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.  Don’t lift anything heavy, except you.  Remember walk walk walk walk walk (while making this waddling motion).

I hate my doctor.  But my urge to never see him drives me to proper health.  “I get bedrest and fluids alright you fucker, I’ll be damned if I see you again for this condition”.

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I walked to my boss’s cube to say something when I found several folk having a heated discussion on something.  The boss was mid-rant  about how they’d have to work without interruption day or night after it was done he asked
Boss: Terry, what did you need?
Me: Nothing really, I just found out the guys across the hall have more variety at their coffee machine than us.
Boss: Why didn’t you tell me sooner!

Note to self: superior coffee and notes on office politicking goes above things marked important enough that he’ll have to work day and night.

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My G15 keyboard probably isn’t dishwasher-safe because of the LCD screen so I opted to pop off the keys, put them in a mesh bag and send them through the dishwasher.  This worked quite well as all my keys are now shiny and clean again.  I wondered how my keys got so dirty, not just scummy but dirty having a literal coating of dirt on the 1-5 keys and the Q key.  The answer became apparent when I had to put down the barbeque sauce-coated ribs to do the first draft of this post.  Maybe it’s time to get some Wet-naps.

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For those of you not yet part of the twitterati, my last three tweets are now available on the right side bar.  Join twitter and learn what Jimmy Fallon thinks of toe cruft and hear Robert Scoble’s every thought about everything.  Or just use it to keep track of friends and family, you can do that too.

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While I love lolcats I may have found something I like better in the form of the Erudite Ferrets anti-meme.  For instance:

Erudite Ferret from bigfatwhale.com

Erudite Ferret from bigfatwhale.com

So, I’d like to start making more.  This is what have so far:

I’m in your x, ying your zs.

  • I’m in your libraries, finishing the books you found too hard.
  • I’m in your New York Times, completing your Friday Crossword Puzzles, in pen.
  • I’m in your bookshelf, reading your Thomas Pynchon novels.
  • I’m in your system32/fonts folder, deleting your Comic Sans.
  • I’m in your essays, correcting your usages of the Oxford Comma.

Invisible

  • Invisible Go match
  • Invisible Letter to the Editor composing
  • Invisible armchair physics
  • Invisible Sherry swilling

Other

  • John Updike, mourn ya ’til we join ya.
  • Supporting discourse of normative ethics is not a crime.
  • Faulknerian Idiot Man-Child Owners, I haz dem.
  • I’m a ferret and Palin even scared me.

I’m not sure if I can use lolcat language at all, or can use it ironically.  Ideas?

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While I love lolcats I may have found something I like better in the form of the Erudite Ferrets anti-meme.  For instance:

Erudite Ferret from bigfatwhale.com

Erudite Ferret from bigfatwhale.com

So, I’d like to start making more.  This is what have so far:

I’m in your x, ying your zs.

  • I’m in your libraries, finishing the books you found too hard.
  • I’m in your New York Times, completing your Friday Crossword Puzzles, in pen.
  • I’m in your bookshelf, reading your Thomas Pynchon novels.
  • I’m in your system32/fonts folder, deleting your Comic Sans.
  • I’m in your essays, correcting your usages of the Oxford Comma.

Invisible

  • Invisible Go match
  • Invisible Letter to the Editor composing
  • Invisible armchair physics
  • Invisible Sherry swilling

Other

  • John Updike, mourn ya ’til we join ya.
  • Supporting discourse of normative ethics is not a crime.
  • Faulknerian Idiot Man-Child Owners, I haz dem.
  • I’m a ferret and Palin even scared me.

I’m not sure if I can use lolcat language at all, or can use it ironically.  Ideas?

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On the way home I saw a Nissan truck with two faded bumper stickers.  The first read “The real reason for the 2nd amendment is becoming clear” and the second I couldn’t make out both of which looked at least 10 years old.  In addition, there was a magnetic soccer ball on the tailgate.

What does that mean?  Is the person racist, paranoid, libertarian, anti-Clinton, a strict constructionist, what?  It’s driving me mad.  Maybe the mystery would be explained by the 2nd bumper sticker and could provide enough context with something like “send them all home” or “government of the people, by the people and for the people” or even “the right to arm bears”.  And the soccer ball?  Maybe that’s just there as a distraction to the anti-gun police officer who thinks he’s going to show a gun-nut who’s boss.  Gha, make sense, world.