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I’d unwittingly volunteered to do a Webelos Weekend and spent far more time preparing for it compared to any program I’ve ever run.  The theme was “Mad Scientist Training Weekend” and kids completed the Science related activity pins.

Highlights:

  • A fight between the Scout professional and the event staff over the breakfast drinks between water and juice.  The compromise: Tang
  • A leader asked if I could leave the pavilion light on as he graded papers saying he was a college professor.  I checked back and he was grading papers titled “and now you try: identifying nouns”
  • The evening meal for the kids was a mini-pizza and pasta for the adults.  A leader asked if he could bring out his propane stove to cook something and the administrative head shot it down.  He later approached me and offered me an Omaha Steak in return for some black-market grilling.
  • My dad was pressed into running a station after a station lead texted out sick.  Normally he doesn’t smoke on Scout trips as the outdoors calms him, apparently Cub Scouts don’t as he decimated cigarettes between groups in about 8 seconds.
  • The evening presentation involved five rapid-fire demos that Joe and I did involving Newton’s First Law of Motion and atmospheric pressure.  Joe and I made up a neat presentation where he breaks a brick over my hand with a hammer without injuring my hand to which no one responded.  HE BROKE A BRICK OVER MY HAND.  But when I used a playing card to seal a graduated cylinder everyone was stunned.  After the presentation no less than 5 kids approached doubting the card’s efficacy until they tried it.  Each was completely uninterested in how a brick broke over my hand.
  • I had to drive home to grab a broom to clean up the next day and picked up Max so he could go for a run in the park.  He was very interested the trip until he arrived, took a massive dump and ran back to the car.  I think my family’s dog may be responsible for a series of shit-n-runs.

Go Webelos.

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The washing machine is still broke and none of my friends had an available washer so I ventured to The Laundromat. My local one is largely frequented by single middle-aged men. I at least assume they were single but based on some educated guesswork I’m confident.

All in all it was a heartening experience. The way the Sicilian man lovingly folded his track suits and chose perm press instead of colors for anything made from crushed velvet or how the two elder black men alternated discussing blues and barbeque let me know that my children or at least my brother’s children will live in a world of reassuring stereotypes.

I was also encouraged that everyone folded their laundry. I wonder if this is an observer effect likenhow everyone washed their hands in public bathrooms if anyone else is there.

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The washing machine is still broke and none of my friends had an available washer so I ventured to The Laundromat. My local one is largely frequented by single middle-aged men. I at least assume they were single but based on some educated guesswork I’m confident.

All in all it was a heartening experience. The way the Sicilian man lovingly folded his track suits and chose perm press instead of colors for anything made from crushed velvet or how the two elder black men alternated discussing blues and barbeque let me know that my children or at least my brother’s children will live in a world of reassuring stereotypes.

I was also encouraged that everyone folded their laundry. I wonder if this is an observer effect likenhow everyone washed their hands in public bathrooms if anyone else is there.

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I dropped a ketchup packet, and then stepped on it.  This wouldn’t be unremarkeable except for that this was the first time I’ve ever taken a ketchup packet from the cafeteria and for its aftermath.  I stepped on it perfectly such that it didn’t just break but that each side blew completely, it sounded like a gun shot.  The guy down the hall from me ducked.  It splashed off the wall.  I assumed ketchup was too viscous to richochet off both the floor and wall to land on my pants; I was wrong.  I assumed that a single ketchup packet could not create a ring of tomato paste and vinegar that could be perfectly mapped out four feet from the blast site; I was wrong.  I thought no one had heard it and would immediately couple a bang and clumsy fat man with a horrible condiment accident; I was wrong.

Come to think of it, I don’t know what happened to the packet itself.  Hm….

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I dropped a ketchup packet, and then stepped on it.  This wouldn’t be unremarkeable except for that this was the first time I’ve ever taken a ketchup packet from the cafeteria and for its aftermath.  I stepped on it perfectly such that it didn’t just break but that each side blew completely, it sounded like a gun shot.  The guy down the hall from me ducked.  It splashed off the wall.  I assumed ketchup was too viscous to richochet off both the floor and wall to land on my pants; I was wrong.  I assumed that a single ketchup packet could not create a ring of tomato paste and vinegar that could be perfectly mapped out four feet from the blast site; I was wrong.  I thought no one had heard it and would immediately couple a bang and clumsy fat man with a horrible condiment accident; I was wrong.

Come to think of it, I don’t know what happened to the packet itself.  Hm….

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I’ve been reading up on modern physics since camp ended to try and get back into the swing things.  After finally figuring out math of Hawking Radiation and how holographic information theory works i broached books with fewer pictures and more equations.

I got most of these texts from the library and as the difficulty level increased the page on which the previous reader left their bookmark decreased.  Each one of these passes left me giddy and reinvigorated and probably helped me finish in a few cases.

I imagine I’m not the only person who gets this feeling of triumph from beating someone else at reading.  I think we should sprinkle fake bookmarks through children’s books as a way to encourage reading and through more advanced works to reward adults for finishing legitimate literature.

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Two lodge members were attempting to get access to the Totem Wireless and both were having some difficultly.  After about 20 minutes of trying one threw his hands into the air saying “HPs can’t get onto the network”.  The other person who was trying to get on closed the lid of his HP and slinked away.  I helped the first person get online with some software-fu and all was right in the world.

Later, the 2nd person returned to me-
2nd person: Hey, Terry.
Me: Yeah?
2nd person: I know there’s rules on who can get online, but can you please lift the rule that stops HPs from going online?  I really need to do my homework.
Me: That makes no sense, why would I place a rule to stop certain types of computers and even if I did, I couldn’t possibly implement it, you’re re-… Yes, I will, but I’ll have to do something to your computer first.
2nd person: Ok.
Me: *Takes computer, clicks “Connect to network” in lower right hand corner of screen*
2nd person: What was the problem?
Me: A PEBKAC error.  I can’t fix it, but I made it go away.
2nd person: One day I hope I can fix them myself.
Me: Me too….

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I woke up at 8:20, prepared myself for a day of pre-release and left Totem Lodge at 8:40.  I drove to Wawa for two Turkey Sausage bagels, a strawberry milk, and a gallon bottle of water.  I drove another 15 minutes and arrived at the tournament venue when a terrible sense of wrongness overcame me: It was 8:55 on the morning of a pre-release and I was still in my car.  Normally, by then, I’d woken up at 5:30 AM, reviewed the current set’s FAQ while on the 6:04 AM train with people who didn’t realize the event wouldn’t open until 8:00 AM.

The TO brought pizza and I was done by 4:00 PM.  Being used to days at Magic Tournaments that’d scare a 19th century coal miner I couldn’t accept payment.  I didn’t run a pre-release I ran a large FNM followed by a booster draft.

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I was first worried that the new lodge executive board wouldn’t have the skills and abilities needed to thrive in Scouting and direct the lodge.  All this washed away when the lodge 2nd vice chief presented a motion that passed that the new lodge chief couldn’t say “awesome” more than twice a meeting.

That’s how parli pro was meant to be used.

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Until I get a computer account at work the scanner that’s my current partner must be accessed by a co-worker.  The computer automatically logs after 15 minutes of use.  I tried right-clicking and going to the Screensavers tab to adjust the time and couldn’t, so I called tech support and asked if there was an alternative.  For security reasons, they apparently tightly control the log-in period.  But there’s a back-door.  Despite spending millions on setting up a Group Policy and having IT bees buzz around and secure it, I have somehow have unmitigated access to the registry.  I promptly set the key ScreenSaverActive to “0” to disengage it and started looking around.  Every major security feature can be manually disabled through the registry.

I told my manager about this problem and he began looking around in confusion until his eyes lit up after seeing the key that sets the screen saver.

Manager: So I can finally change the screen saver I’ve been forced to stare at for 5 years with a picture of [a pretty lady].
Me: Yes, yes you can have [a sequence of nice ladies] as your screen saver.  But I’ve been told it’ll reset each night as the magical computer gnomes reset the group policy.
Manager: It’s worth it.