Today I learned the harsh sting of humility in the face of jerky-making hubris.  I was talking to another staff member whose father hunts deer and mentioned that he wished he could preserve venison.  I mentioned that I thought myself skilled at creating beef jerky, to which he asked if I’d done deer jerky before and I replied “No, but I’m willing to jerk anyone’s meat”.  Note to self: Watch out for double entendres when discussing food preservation.

I went to Lowes to purchase a replacement air filter to make beef jerky and saw a sight that no sane man in the Northeast of the US should ever be exposed to… One of those gaiye giant inflatable snow globes containing Santa, and a reindeer IMMEDIATELY BEHIND THE OUTDOOR GRILLS. Who says to themselves “I’d like to prepare a giant steak and then look like a tool by putting up Christmas decorations two months early completely skipping Halloween, Thanksgiving and the Feast Day Commemorating the Dedication of the Basilicas of St. Peter and Paul.” Not I, Mr. Lowes Store #1-093 Merchandising Manager, not I.

Madrigal’s Meat Market had the flank steak I needed to make beef jerky and I put them square in my errand sights today.  I grabbed the steak and counter attendent asked me what I was using the steak for-
Me: I’m making beef jerky
Her: With a dehydrator?
Me: If by dehydrator you mean box fan, bungee cords, and 4 furnace filters, yes.
Her: Do you know what the best source of meat for beef jerky?
Me: A cow.
Her: Nope, deer.  Deer makes the best beef jerky.

Hm…. deer are a source of quality cow steaks.  Don’t tell anyone, the beef industry would be destroyed by this development.