I would have sold my trade stock the minute after the last Ockanickon Magic Tournament if I could have, but the guy I sell to had something called “sleep” he wanted to do when I called him at 11 PM yesterday.  So, today I packed my car with Magic cards and paraphernalia, drove to Moorestown, NJ and dropped off the rest of my once mighty collection.

Me: I want this out of my house.
Buyer: Ok, it’s going to take me a few hours to price this.  Do you want to wait?
Me: No, I just want this out of my house.
Buyer: So, just price it, cut you a check later?
Me: Yes, I just want this out of my house.

What remains of my collection is now tripartite:

  1. A deck built entirely out of 6″ x 9″ promotional cards from the 90s.
  2. My big box consisting of 3000 or so sleeved unique cards from between Urza’s Legacy and Zendikar.
  3. 1 Imperial Seal that has f-ing evaporated.

This I now have more off than Magic cards:

  • Star Trek: Collectible Card Game cards
  • Star Wars: Collectible Card Game cards

I’m not sure how to get rid of those.  Ebay, Craigslist, bonfire, or use them in some elaborate prank where I replace someone’s Vintage deck with my nigh unstoppable Soong-Type Android deck (it’s essentially the ST:CCG equivalent of Workshop).

An era of my leisure life is now closed.

My departure from Chicago was like my departure from my host: icy.  Peter made the outrageous claim that seasons I & II of Star Trek: The Next Generation where the best.  I recognize I’m sometimes viewed as an iconoclast for my love of DS9 but claiming that the repurposed tripe that was the detritus of Star Trek: Phase II represented the pinnacle of writing in Trekdom is heresy bordering on treason.   Were I not so tired, that claim could have sent me into a paroxysmal rage that would have taken out a 1/3 of Team Interobang’s SAs.

I had a chance to calm down later and Kyle and I proceeded to FermiLab… which was closed.  I’d registered for a presentation there but was waitlisted by a school group.  We drove about the complex a bit including driving down some sort of access road where pi-shaped power supports stretched to infinity.

I pulled that from Flickr but the area around was blanketed in snow.  The site’s pristine status as a well maintained but forgotten site was reinforced by 1960s industrial design coupled with a emptiness that I’ve only seen in the works of De Chirico.

I regret not being a bit more ballsy in exploring the site as I’m sure they get their fare share of curious nerds.  This was the place that discovered the bottom Omega baryon on a continuously diminishing budget and is a testament to America’s dedication to being on the frontier of discovery0, and they have the bison to prove it.

We drove homeward and due to the vicissitudes of Garmin’s pathfinding our path jumped from I-94 to Rt 30; the way I’d gone out and back to Chicago on my previous visit.  Kyle found its barrenness as enchanting as I did but this time we had the additional dampener of uniform snow.  Stopping in Fort Wayne to take up someone on an offer of pizza provided a change of company and temperament that was refreshing.  The combination of brick oven pizza and Caesar salad purged me of Chicago’s taste in more than a figurative sense.  I used our temporary host’s bathroom and was able to clog it with droppings no larger than Vienna sausages.   I asked for a plunger and received the quizzical response I often get from people whose bowel functions make clogged toilets more of a theoretical concern than a fact of reality.  I’ve gotten quite good at the art of the silent plunge and the issue was quickly put down the drain… or toilet trap.

The final stretch back included a stop over at which Kyle first lived.  I’m glad we were fully stopped as he was hit by waves of mental calibration as his internal image of his old house was reconciled with reality.  I was lucky; my old home was replaced by the fruit section of a Superfresh before I encountered such cognitive dissonance.  The rest of the turnpike welcomed us home in the manner it often does: with just enough hill to trigger a gear change using cruise control but not enough to complete the upshift.  I missed you, Pennsylvania.

My Team Fortress 2 team has recent run a PropHunt server and it’s attracted some non-standard players.   One was a Scottish man in his mid-fifties playing the mod for the first time that sounded identical to James Doohan and I giggled every time he talked.  I started trying to engineer lines but was only able to muster the following:

Him: We’re on a new map.
Me: Are there bales of hay here? *giggle*
Him: Thar be bales here!

Me: You’re the last prop alive, you have a gun.
Him: I do!?
Me: Yes, take her around and give ’em what she’s got!
Moments later
Me: Give ’em more!
Him: I’m givin’ ’em all she’s got.

Giggle.

JJ Abrams Star Trek was a 12.  Easily blowing away First Contact and Undiscovered Country as my favorite.  Some notes:

  • When Chekov Harold Zulu Sulu raises his hand to indicate his skill in hand-to-hand combat he should have shouted “pick me, I’m Asian!”
  • Spock has cauliflower ear, he didn’t previously.  Probably got it kickin’ ass and taking apostrophed names on Vulcan.
  • JJ Abrams either bought a lens flare plugin for FinalCut Pro or bought them in bulk from Costco
  • The navigational deflectors didn’t deflect the debris around Vulcan

In other news I found that the guy I slyly called a jerk at the Neshaminy Red Robins remembers me from January.  Time to grow a beard and wear sunglasses or start going to the red Robins in Oxford Valley.  I’m kinda impressed/scared he remembered an offhanded comment made to a server via napkin from four months ago.

I was introduced today to someone who was previously my nemesis. But now, they have a goatee where once they were clean shaven. As Star Trek has taught us, alternate universe versions of people have the opposite personally. So, I got talking with what I assumed would be the nice goateed version of the person I had previously avoided. The initial signs were good, this person had moved from marketing to product development, and had switched from using Times New Roman to Calibri (probably done automatically by Word 2007 but I’ll take what I can get). But then I began talking to him and after the word forte was pronounced “forté” and coup de grâce turned into “blow of fat” (coup de gras). I left shortly after the word irregardless was used. Maybe this doppelganger didn’t come from a universe where I’m a track star and my brother is the teetotler.

Edit: Fixed egregious spelling of goatee.

I typically watch an episode of Star Trek while using the treadmill and most of my family has gotten used to the 42 minute block of thunder from upstairs.  Today, after about 55 minutes, my dad checked on me to make sure I was okay, he looked relieved that I wasn’t being sanded by the belt but also confused.  I looked at him as said “two-parter” and the confusion lifted.