Sometimes if I leave work early I run into Joe on the train ride home.  He and I both take the quiet ride car and I pulled out my laptop and he pulled out his Kindle.  I texted him “what are you reading” and replied by holding his hands up to his mouth and miming that he was eating, followed by tucking his arms like he had wings and flapping them while cawing.  He was reading George RR Martin’s “A Feast for Crows”.  I replied with another text consisting of “last time you and I talked you were reading” where I then mimed thunder and the sound of katanas striking each other with accompanying hand motions.  “A Storm Of Swords”.

The next book in the series is “A Dance with Dragons”, not sure how I’d do that while sitting.

Sometimes I see something that’s almost Rockwellian in its depiction of American life.  I wish I had a picture of this one:  I was on the train, and saw a kid with a black eye and an arm in a cast replacing the grip tape on his lacrosse stick.  Wow.

Yesterday on the train, the person sitting next to me was reviewing her email when I noticed the name at the top: Annie Aungst. Annie Aungst? I hope her name was Annie Angst and she changed changed it. That’s the name of a porn star, roller derby contestant or fem-punk rock frontwomen, not someone who worked for the United Way or some other non-profit. I wonder if she’s ever having problems getting money as a client said “I gave in to Aungst” or something equally ambiguous.  I hope she has a Boston or norther accent in capable of the long “aww” noise required to differentiate Aungst from Angst.  Either way, what if she had a kid?  They’d practically be the emo poster-child.

Today I tried not drinking the coffee.  I have a train-friend that regularly purchases coffee on the way to the station and I spoke with this friend about providing their cup of coffee.  So, I got the AA Kenya with 2 sugars and 2 creams and proudly brought it onto the train.  Train stopped at Somerton station, no friend.  So I figured I’d just hold the coffee and dump it when I got to Temple.

People start piling in and my arm’s getting tired as I have no real place to put it down.  I’m pretty sure the guy next to me starts looking at me funny as I hold this cup of coffee without drinking it and my arm starts shaking as holding out the cup starts getting to me.  I think about trying to give it away until realizing that no one would accept a fat stranger’s coffee.

In frustration I start drinking it, remembering why I hate regular coffee, so I’m sitting there downing piping hot coffee contorting my face in pain.  I’m the kind of guy guys like me hate sitting next to on the train thinking they’re crazy.  I’ve become a monster.

Both the inbound and outbound trains were running late today and when exiting the R3 at Temple, a man ran up to me.
Man: I saw you earlier and I wanted to say good job.
Me: For what?
Man: For sticking it to ’em.
Me: *silence**silence**silence* Thanks.
WHAT THE FUCK IS HE TALKING ABOUT! Who am I possibly sticking it to? The fashion industry? Eskimos? Thin People?  Tell me crazy R5-train-taking man!

In IH 0051 we’ve been reading the Old Testiment and to win the frequent Biblical pissing matching I’ve been toting the 14 lb. Oxford New Revised Standard Version (with Apocrypha) around Temple. This isn’t too odd as based on my size it looks like I’m a smaller person perusing Reader’s Digest. While reading Genesis I’ve had the score to Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat running through my head and I finally got my umbrella back after 3 weeks of use by some smelly-pirate hooker for which I felt sorry in my stat class. After class, I mount the R3 to go home and there are infinite people, mostly in shitty costumes, and there’s no place to sit. So, I’m standing there reading the giant Bible humming show tunes carrying an umbrella on a clear 70° day on Halloween in shorts and sandals with socks when I notice everyone around backing away and getting quiet. I’m used to this to a certain extent as there is a certain surreal quality to a 380lb man whistling on a train, but the clincher was when I made eye contact with a 10 year old dressed as a skeleton leans over to his mother and lips the words “he’s weird”. Welcome to Philadelphia, kids.

In IH 0051 we’ve been reading the Old Testiment and to win the frequent Biblical pissing matching I’ve been toting the 14 lb. Oxford New Revised Standard Version (with Apocrypha) around Temple. This isn’t too odd as based on my size it looks like I’m a smaller person perusing Reader’s Digest. While reading Genesis I’ve had the score to Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat running through my head and I finally got my umbrella back after 3 weeks of use by some smelly-pirate hooker for which I felt sorry in my stat class. After class, I mount the R3 to go home and there are infinite people, mostly in shitty costumes, and there’s no place to sit. So, I’m standing there reading the giant Bible humming show tunes carrying an umbrella on a clear 70° day on Halloween in shorts and sandals with socks when I notice everyone around backing away and getting quiet. I’m used to this to a certain extent as there is a certain surreal quality to a 380lb man whistling on a train, but the clincher was when I made eye contact with a 10 year old dressed as a skeleton leans over to his mother and lips the words “he’s weird”. Welcome to Philadelphia, kids.