A problem had occurred in the CDN that supplies images to the online store I maintain for my firm so I spent today re-uploading pictures of undergarments.  It was straight forward and necessary and had no problem doing it but at an irreducible level I had spent my day looking at underwear.  I’m not sure if I should feel dirty or lucky.

I am member, no, a high priest, of the cult of Under Amour underwear.  Under Armour won my single elimination Greatest Underwear 2007 tournament and I feel I can speak expertly on the O-line vs. the T-line of Under Armour underwear.  For the record, M (for mesh) -line 6″ boxer jock underwear is an undergarment worthy of being put into a time capsule or etched into a gold record to be launched into space.  The mesh in fine enough that you don’t feel the spaces but you get ridiculously fast drying.  You could shart in these and be bone dry after about 15 minutes,.  Mind you, you’d smell like poop, but you’d be dry.

Five of my friends have been lulled into the cult as acolytes and today I converted a sixth.  I started out with 3XL pairs and now wear XL but kept the 3XL ones for reasons I’m not quite sure of.  I sold them to this new member today at $10 a pair.  Please note, I sold used underwear.  This is something I could only do with Under Armour underwear.  The proof of the pudding is in the eating, but I believe he’l be happy when he receives them.

I normally have nine pairs of underwear which I wash on a short cycle along with my Scout uniform, certain shirts, and my pillow case.  These items combined create perfectly sized load.  I keep my underwear in the same drawer as my socks and these clothing staples live in harmony.  Today, though, they didn’t live in harmony.  My under took up 2/3rds of the drawer so I started counting them.  Somehow I’d gone from 9 pairs to 14 pairs of underwear.  I wonder if UnderArmour has some sort of mating season that I’ve otherwise ignored.  If so, congratulations to the pair that had twins.

I normally have nine pairs of underwear which I wash on a short cycle along with my Scout uniform, certain shirts, and my pillow case.  These items combined create perfectly sized load.  I keep my underwear in the same drawer as my socks and these clothing staples live in harmony.  Today, though, they didn’t live in harmony.  My under took up 2/3rds of the drawer so I started counting them.  Somehow I’d gone from 9 pairs to 14 pairs of underwear.  I wonder if UnderArmour has some sort of mating season that I’ve otherwise ignored.  If so, congratulations to the pair that had twins.

On my way to Teejay’s after helping do buddy tags at camp, I received a call from the spouse of an august camp staffer.

Her: I’m trying to get in contact with <staffer name> and I couldn’t find the right number.
Me: This is the personal number for me.  You realize that?
Her: Yes, you’re marked for emergencies.
Me: Oh… Well, what do you need?
Her: I need to get in contact with my husband.  He left something here that he shouldn’t.
Me: (Knowing her husband has a chronic medical condition), if it’s a real emergency I can drop it off, what is it?
Her: Oh, dear no.  He just forgot clean undewear.

As the shooting sports director he should be able to rustle up something.   Although, I thought that forgetting underwear ended at the age of about 12.  Looks like there’s simply a “golden half-century of underwear recall” between 12 and 62.   Only 37 years left, myself.