I went on a tear at the post office a month or so ago and bought sheets of weird values of stamps.  I thought I’d use them more but have taken to using online postage printing to send most things.  I want to get some use out of them so I’ve started sending people things that they’ve left here or what have you as a way to use them.  Here’s some objects and how much they cost to send:

Copy of Shaq-Fu: 2 Rockafeller Statues of Wisdom, an American Red Cedar, a Bighorn Sheep and 2 Tiffany Lamps.

Graffitied Magic Card: Mother Theresa, Breast Cancer Survival Awareness, 2 decorative tea kettles, and a Navajo Necklace.

Copy of the Art of Loving, by Erich Fromm: 2 Richard Wrights, a Bighorn Sheep, and 2 Harriet Beecher Stowes.

The Team Interrobang Holiday cards went out today after a bit of a printing snafu.  I wanted to send one to each member who’d donated twice during the year and purchased some delightful TF2-themed ones.  Printing was… onerous as the card stock felt like butter coated Teflon and would only print if I tenderly rubbed the printer while whispering dirty things to its electrostatic head.  I had 20 cards to send out and three muffed up impressively, two even had burn marks on them, so I had to create inserts with cardstock and spray adhesive.  The automated postal station at the post office was actually run by a postal worker that manned that sucker like Data rockin’ the Enterprise’s LCARS.  I had some weird stamps to get so I took the regular line and purchased my stamps to send stuff to North North Dakota (Canada).  Turns out the current 75 cent stamp is Harriet Beecher Stowe.  I’m sure sending an enduring symbol of the Civil War will endear us to the Canadians.  I also needed to get three two cent stamps to finish up a roll of stamps I had lying around.  I purchased a sheet of 25 and after using 3 such stamps will make an attempt to use the remaining 22 to send something somewhere.  I wonder if I can spell out a PO box in stamps.

I went to the Post Office to send some cards to the Czech Republic and encountered an interminable list of Faulknerian Idiot Manchildren as listed below.1.  A women who had 45 Christmas letters, roughly half of which had to go international and 6 packages.  Each item had a single 39 cent stamp on it and roughly 10 minute elapsed in explaining that 39 cents would not send a bottle of Vodka to Kyrgyzstan and another 5 in her saying that the scale was innacurate and that a Christmas card couldn’t possibly weigh more than an oz.

2.  A profoundly fat woman who gave the stare of disgust while forcing her self around me through the double door.  I don’t think she thought the other of the french door was locked despite the fact that her massive ass was opening it as she revealed her idiocy to me.

3.  A man who looked suspiciously up and down the line while I swear he was just faking filling out a customs order and if you looked at him directly he’d stare at a poster of Holiday Stamps.

Whenever someone would reset their feet, the person behind them would shift forward and the whole line would contract.  I failed to observe this rite and was nearly shoved to fill in the 6″ void in front of me.  The line nearly halved its length despite not a single person having been served.