I went to a 2-hour Eagle Court of Honor today.  If I ever hear the words “Scoutings highest honor” again, I’m going to stab someone.  Eagle isn’t the highest honor, it’s the highest rank.  I’m pretty sure the Distinguished Eagle, the 20-Year Hornaday Award, the Silver Buffalo, the Distinguished Service Award, and Insect Study all rank above Eagle.  One of the kids rattled on for like 20 minutes attempting to make bad joke after bad joke, I must speak to his Communications merit badge instructor.  Finally, one of the presenters spent 23 minutes on stupid cooking school stories, it was so boring I began reading Deuteronomy.  Deuter-fucking-onomy, a 45 page list of random things Jews can’t do.  I was desparate.