I showed someone the pictures of the beat-to-shit Matrix and a “my car’s better fight” quickly broke out.  My foe did have a patently better car, I think a Maserati or a Kia or something:Me: My car gets 34 mpg.
Him: Mine gets 34 mpg, city (burn!) and can seat 4 comfortably.
Me: My car can seat 7 very uncomfortably, and has (some safety feature I made up).
Him: My car has (existing safety features I don’t have) and can (run a short distance quickly).
At this point I realized I was losing an escalated the conflict with the following:
Me: My car can run on both cola and diet cola, sharpen razor blades merely by leaving them on the dashboard, recharge cell batteries by rubbing them against the hood, has been beatified by the Pope, has an exhaust system that turns carbon dioxide into a cheap AIDS retroviral and has adopted a hospital Nigerian war orphans.

I win.