I can’t vote for Supreme Court justices and my vote for almost every other election is washed out in a sea of blue as a resident of Pennsyltucky, but one place where my vote will always have numerical power is local elections. Most people shun this opportunity to vote for coroner, register of wills, and such but I relish the opportunity to try and take down our tax collector. The office is open less than 20 hours a week and when asked why my father was told “well, I do a lot of work at home, too”. WHY NOT JUST DO IT AT THE OFFICE. It’s great that you’re open from 11-1 on Tuesdays and 9 PM to 4 AM on the Ides of March but real hours would be swell due to the irony of the people that have to pay you being job holders who are otherwise unavailable during your “business” hours.

So, it was about 7:45 PM (polls close at 8):
Me: Did you vote today?
Dad: There were elections today? Is it vote that dumb bitch out of office day?
Me: It may be.
Dad: To the polls!

My dad voted first, and I was right behind him as the poll closed with me being voter 200. I was in the booth when he exited and we met up again at home:
Me: It was a primary.
Him: It was a primary.
Me: A Republican primary, everyone runs unopposed in a Republican primary.
Him: I did a write in.
Me: Me too.
Him: I wrote “anyone else”
Me: He got my vote too. Good to know he’s gaining popularity.

If “Anyone Else” makes it to the general election with three votes (my brother hates her to) I will know democracy works. And that the dumb bitch is an unpopular dumb bitch.