Using a Fume Hood

Every 15-20 lbs or so I need to retool some aspect of my diet.  Around 265 I noted my lunches were a bit large so I transitioned to getting soup from the cafeteria and using fresh fruit and granola bars to round out the meal.   My granola bar of choice is FiberOne Chocolate which has seriously upped the fiber in my diet at the cost of me farting like a champ.  This upped fart frequency coupled with the fact that my farts now sound like a duck call has led me to stop conversations, walk over to the fume hood, make a strange face, and returned with my pressure equilibrated.

This went on for a week or two until my boss called me into his office.

Boss: Terry.
Me: Yes?
Boss: You’ve been farting up a storm.
Me: I know, that’s why I’ve taken to the fume hood.
Boss: And we thank you for that.  But that hood contains hydrogen sulfide test equipment [H2S is the primary odorant in flatus, the fancy term for gas].
Me: It’s a sealed system.
Boss: But if it gets in and messes up readings, how do we log it?
Me: …human input error.
Boss:  Good, as long as we have a plan.