Best Costume:  Guy dressed as a giant rare earth static dipole with G gallus young attached to it, a veritable chick magnet.
For 47th consecutive year, the Robinson family celebrated Halloween the same way: we had a fine turkey dinner with all the trimmings.  My brother then carved a pumpkin while inebriated and damned thing, the pumpkin turned out perfect, except for the fact that it was upside down.

Adventures in Focus Groups-
Directions stated that to get from the train station to the building was about 25 minutes, so I gave myself an extra 10, because I walk slow, on top of the recommended 15 minute early arrival period.  The train arrives on time, I exit the statement and it’s literally the building next to the station.  I could exit the station, fall over a hobo and be at the building’s door.  I’m now 50 minute early and everyone of the three people I had to check with were like “you’re 50 minutes early”, “your 48 minutes early”, “your 30 minutes early” (I got lost but got to use a profoundly nice bathroom).  Entering the waiting room I sat and read my US News and World Report magazine while the woman across from me with very nice hair but dressed in a cult-like jogging suit stared at the blank wall next to me.  As the room started filling I also noticed an unusually large number of people with limp.Focus group members were called and we sat around a circular table when our group leader told us to relax and that we may be monitored.  I looked around at the wall length 1-way mirror, 3 cameras, a tube slot for sending notes between the mysterious mirror people and our group leader “Thad”, and finally a hand held tape recorder.  We each received a name card and names like “Wysal”, “Tbor”, and “Tchatcka” appeared breaking the room into three parts: 1) non-native speakers, 2) limpers and 3) me.  We were then asked basic questions about our Vonage service and Dave (a limper) kept responding with really philosophical answers:
Thad: Why did you chose Vonage.
Dave: I didn’t choose Vonage, my choice was merely the outcome of the facts at the time, things over which I had no control and necessities of  my family life.

Thad: What would the idea phone service provide?
Dave: The idea phone service would supply a continuous stream of communication freed from physical constraint of the primitive concept of “phone”.

Wysal pointed out a problem Vonage had with dial-up connections over digital phone service.  Why would you get digital phone service, which requires a broadband connection so you can connect a 56.6Kbps modem to your 1.5Mbps cable connection?

When all was done a shady black man paid us with envelopes full of dirty 5s and a 50.  The only shadier method could have been either narcotics or sequential 20s with red dye on them.

Tomorrow I will be part of a product focus group for Vonage.  The day is mine.

In hobo mode, I’ve kept my eyes peeled for interesting items scattered on the side of the road.  Today, I found a queen size bed next to what looked like a really nice house so chances are, they replace their matress weekly or the queensize wasn’t big enough.  I switch vehicles and return with a truck, hop out and first see that the nice house, is actually behind a crummy house but is large enough that the crappy house looked like the nice house’s tool shed.  Then I lift up bed to an explosion of foam as if the bed had been used to blunt the blow of a cluster bomb and then fended off a pack of wolverines that also peed a combination of urine and dark corn syrup.  I guess this is why you’re not supposed to pick up used bedding by the side of the road.

After a 9 month delay, I finally got the Youth of the Year and Founders’ Award plaques engraved and I went to the OA Fellowship weekend to give out these plaques. I called the recipients earlier in the week to check how they wanted their names spelled specifically for each award.  At the weekend, I hand Chris Crose, the 2006 Youth of Year recipient, who was recognized in person at the lodge banquet where it was mentioned there’d be a plaque, the plaque that said “Chris Crose, 2006 Youth of Year” and he looks down and reads “Chris Crose, 2006 Youth of the Year” and looks at me and says “what’s this for?”

I stayed up a bit late last night and was unable to assemble my ultimate gaudy suit.  I attack the alarm clock a few times until I’ve lost all chance of assembling the gaudy suit.  I put on the brightest golf shirt I have which is the color of the blue in the American flag, shed a single tear and book it to the train.  I arrive in Act Sci 3092 except a gaudy fate to rain on me delivered by a iridescent red shirt granola junkie.  His friends look at me cockily planning my impeding doom.  Rachael looks at me about to mouth “you’re going down” when her Blackberry starts blinking.  Insult suspended, she peers down for a moment returning to her accosting ashen-faced.  The pointing finger is drawn back into the palm to form a fist, now shaking as she says “he’s not going to be here today”.  Starting from the right side of my mouth the smile creeps across my face as my lips purse to breath the two greatest words in the English language “default”.  Triumph is mine.  Maybe next week will be won in braver combat.

To point out the blatant homophobia in the Boy Scouts.
Leader 1: Did you hear the pastor at God’s Love Church is gay?
Leader 2: Can he still be the charter organization executive?
Leader 1: I imagine.  But he can’t be the organization rep, did he touch the charter?
Leader 2: No.
Leader 1: Good.

A classmate has challenged me to a see who can look more garish on Friday.  While he’s going on about his iridescent pink socks, I’ve found a fuchsia safety tarp and a hat with a spinning light on it.  Should I receive them on time I guarantee a picture.

I’m standing at the urinal when my finance instructor emerges from a stall and starts using mouthwash (I’m not quite sure where it came from) and he immediately starts talking to me.  I can’t understand much through his heavy accent and I’d feel really weird turning to see his face.  So he’s talking and I’m mumbling into the john waiting for him to depart and after faking the world’s longest pee I turn to wash my hands and he’s there waiting.  We walk out, pass his office and he almost walks into my next class.  This from the man who gave me the hairy eyeball for almost a week after correcting him.