Pre-release Moments
-A Philadelphia judge looking for a player announced “I need to see Joe Wang at the the judges station”.
-A player asked me what to do if both players roll the same number when seeing who plays first.
-I was caught stealing a horrible joke from a 3 month-old Reader’s Digest by a thug-dressed player.
-Calling the Reading Terminal Market “the Amish Vending Machine”
Author: Terry
Metal in microwave? It's science
To cut living expenses, I’ve starting bringing lunch to work and today’s was day-old Kung-Pow chicken. Â While microwaving, the director of finance came in and did a double-take seeing a metal container in the microwave and asked how I wasn’t breaking anything. Â I told him that metal is only a problem if it’s a certain type or if there’s crinkles where the metal can arc, so I bend the sides down. Â He looked at me in astonishment a said “I there nothing that R&D can’t do?” Â as if I personally were responsible for changing the laws of physics to prevent sparking. Â I’m glad he has control of our company’s money….
I'll see you all the way to the bank…
Three weeks ago I went to the barbershop and he yelled at me for not coming in for 3 months telling me that I should come back in 6 weeks. Â After letting it grow in and having the hair on the side of my head growing out in such a way It looked like I had a furry football lodge in my skull, I returned aired my grievance and he cut my hair again gratis. Â I thank him and on the way out he yells to me “see you in three weeks”. Â Oh, I’ll see you, I’ll see you good.
Haha, funny. Dickweed
So I’ve started wearing suspenders to work and they worked perfectly up till today when they got caught on something when I was trying to put them back on in the bathroom resulting in me pulling one of the straps off and hitting myself in the face with it resulting in me hitting my head against the side of the stall. Â After another few moments of struggling I emerged from the stall with my shirt partially untucked and disheveled hair only to be joined at the wash basin by my former boss’s boss who’d heard the entire thing, looks at me and says “Nice suspenders”. Astardbay.
Why can't I do this with traffic tickets?
A teacher did for the first time something I thought as novel: negotiated the syllabus. Â We had a chance to recommend changes to grading, testing, review and digital policies the following happened after a few rounds of negotiation:
Beginning: Â 2 in class tests both worth 25%, and a cumulative final worth 50%
Ending: 4 tests (1 per unit) of which the lowest is dropped and consisting of an in class part and take home part. Â These three tests would each count as 7/30ths of the final grade. Â The final is worth 30% and if an exam is missed, the final covers it. This kicked ass and goes down as one of the neatest moment in my academic career.
16% is just the beginning
After playing a DVD back-up I made that skipped quite a bit, I’ve begun sifting through my back-ups to see which work and which don’t. Â Part way through, my free space was going down and discovered my drive hit 16% fragmented. Â This is the highest I’ve ever had a drive and like a moth to the flame, I’m now trying to see if I can break 90% by continuously copying, decompressing, recompressing and deleting ISO files of drives. Â Let us see who gives in first, man or machine. Â BRA HA HA HA.
*Cough* Out of toner *cough*
I’m certain the camp printer has developed Munchausen syndrome. Â It doesn’t receive much use in the off season and while copying banquet registration forms, as soon as I left, the toner cartridge was empty. Â The next two times I left the room a spontaneous paper jam occured that on further investigation had no jammed paper and as the final display of personal inadequacy the printer “forgot” its IP address (despite having a static one). Â I look forward to future devices like flash drives with separation anxiety and laser mice with penis envy towards joysticks.
Attack of the Condomites!
Kevin and I set up the projector in Palmer and started playing Arkanoid on the wall when we were raided by an infinite (>6) number of Cub Scouts that upon seeing a giant video game on the wall split into equal sized groups, one dedicated to yelling “can I play?” the other running in front of the screen and doing horendous ballet moves.  We began kicking them out and they’d come back with their parent that’d drop them off in some twisted version of daycare so they could back to ignoring their children (why else join Cub Scouting?)  After about 45 minutes of one fat kid proving that he’d be rejected by women for the rest of his life by walking in front of the screen and yelling “look at me!” Kevin looked me straight in the eyes and said “Gha, it’s like we’re being attacked by birth control.”
What Happened to Eddie?
Kevin, Zack and I were brainstorming ways to improve camp morale and came to a simple conclusion: the only way to improve morale is the have Butch Patrick who played Eddie Munster show up week 5 and perform “What Happened to Eddie?” with Eddie and the Monsters.
Treadmill Tested
I got my treadmill today, and I believe I’ve gotten more than I bargained for. Â It weighs 293 lbs and has a track wide enough to test the turning radius of a dirt bike. Â During the Herculean effort to put it in my room my brother determined that the primary health effect was in trying to move the damnable thing. Â We’ll be seeking a reduction in home owner’s insurance as with it in place my home is less likely to be blown or float away.