Battery Terminal Cleaning – The terminals on my car battery were the rainbow of verdigris and aerugo that comes from copper compounds oxidizing into at least three different states and while beautiful, probably didn’t help the functioning of my car.  I removed the terminals, scrubbed away the corrosion and found that there wasn’t enough terminal left to actually connect to the battery post.  Hazaa.  So I borrowed my dad’s car to get new terminals and go to Michael’s.

Candy Melts – Candy melts are bits of chocolate one melts down to use as coatings for fruits, confections, and other things that should be covered in chocolate.  They’re largely vegetable oil which was maybe passed over by a cocoa bean and the industry seems to be dominated by the lone firm of Wilton’s much like Arm & Hammer is the world’s only producer of baking soda.  Michael’s had candy melt but only in pastel colors.  Assuming color in candy melts are subtractive, I reasoned that adding together pastel green with pastel blue, with pastel red would make a very non-pastel black, I purchased these in equal parts.  Later, I found out they did make black, or eventually did, I lost track of my double boiler and the pot seized leaving me with a darkened cocoa brick.  I opted to just use morsels on the next batch of truffles to coat and avoided the color conundrum.

Frames – Michael’s once stocked SSFs “simple shitty frames” but seems to no longer.  I had a coupon for 50% off all frames in a purchase and simply wanted a piece of acrylic with black plastic around it.  I buy frames to protect and highlight the photo, not subdue it.  All that Michael’s had were terribly garish “FAMILY” and “LOVE” frames that were either almost Baroque in ornamentation or in odd (to me) dimensions.  I did find what I’d call “frames” but these went by the name of “acrylic photo display boxes” which, of course, was not included in my “frames” coupon.  I guess I go back to buying out Joanne’s Fabric’s stock next time they have a sale.

A day of failures, but a productive day in that I got them all out of the way before lunch.

My local Giant supermarket was once a Genuardi, a store I miss for both its fresh produce and mob ties.  On the way back from Doylestown, I stopped at the next closest Genuardi’s to me and ran into the cashier I used to often see at the Feasterville branch.

Cashier: Mr. Robinson, it’s been ages.
Me: Hi, *looks at name tag* Kathy.
Cashier:  You look great.  Hey, Flo, this is a guy that I used to know from Feasterville.
Elderly 2nd Cashier: How did yo know each other?  Did he work there?
Cashier: No, he was a member of the late night shopping club, always came in near close.
Me: Yeah, you got to have the store to yourself.
Cashier: I miss those days.
Elderly 2nd Cashier: Late night shopping club, Kathy you tramp.  Sounds fun, shopping in the dark *smirks*.  Maybe I could join *winks at me*, you know if you wanted to start it up again.

I have on my list of 141 Reasons Why I Don’t Want to Be fat “I’d like to be hit on”.  If this is the form that will take and this is the result of my current size, they will be seeing a lot more of me as I have much weight to put back on.

 

Yesterday was Bucktail printing and today was Bucktail assembly.  Bucktails had to be labeled in the past, but with the power of mailmerge in MS Publisher that is no longer required.  I’ve done this for three years and each year I have to re-invent a way to do it.  I hope I’m at least getting faster at it each time.   I got home and slept for a few hours but was still very tired from the miles of walking I had done as shown by my Fitbit activity log:

Each spike is me running a lap around the building and that morning is about five to six miles of walking.  Next time, I think I’ll just set up a baby monitor and see if I can hear the silence of a printer having jammed.

The assembly at the lodge meeting went well and everyone helped, including people who traditionally just watch.  I miss the simple satisfaction of cases where everyone has a task and every task has someone working on it.  Maybe it’s time to start running Scout events again.

The Bucktail is my combination trophy piece/albatross in the Order of the Arrow.  The printing of this annual newsletter is preceded by months of requesting content and receiving none followed by a few days of frantic assembly and finally printing.  I received no Chief’s report, not committee reports save one, and two chapter reports, making this year’s edition a shadow of the publication that once rivaled the New Yorker, in my youth, in my head.   These scant articles fit nicely onto two pages and became a wrapper for the stack of forms and notices we were sending our members which totaled 14 page faces.  These 14 page faces were to be sent to 800 people plus 50 spare copies netting 12000 page faces to be printed.  Our office printers go about 20 ppm for a total print time of 600 minutes minus any hiccups.  I had no intention of staying 10 hours late at work so I started producing copies on all six large printers on the second floor of my workplace.   I quickly lost three of these printers to various outstanding maintenance issues I didn’t have the tools to solve then leaving me with three printers each in different wings of my building.

As midnight rolled around and my eyes got heavy, I set myself a 20 minute alarm whereby I’d take a nap, then check on the printers, fix any issues, and check to see if anyone had popped back into work who might notice.  I finished around 8 AM after losing a few hours to two fuser replacements and stubbled home with roughly .72 good-sized trees worth of paper.  And some people have had the audacity to say I’ve quit Scouting.

Guessing at Christmas presents is somewhat alien to the Robinson’s.  We provide lists from which one chooses an item for another party.  Just guessing seems odd and barbaric akin to going to a restaurant and just guessing what the chef could prepare based on knowing it was a Greek restaurant.  I have found this is not how most people work and after asking a friend she replied “sunshine and rainbows”.  So, I purchased her a flash light and a prism.  While I was as it, I got myself a prism too having never messed with one.

Today the prism came and I took it out of the box, set it on the table and learned I have no idea how a prism works on any practical level.  I held it up to various lights with little effect and then held it up to various other focusing devices also with no effect.  I drew a little diagram of the prism a la dark side of the moon and realized I needed a beam of light.  I cobbled together a baffle from cardboard pieces and made a ghetto rainbow in our heater closet using the door and the lights from the rec room as my beam generator.  I have mastered optics circa 1600.

On a more victorious note, someone I sent cracker jacks to got them and responded with this:

Yesterday’s victory was quickly followed by a return to earth when I tried to vacuum seal two things, both of which failed:

1) Potato chips – Vacuum sealing is not an effective way to re-use a potato chip bag.  Now if your goal is to create chip dust, you win.  Or, using vacuum rigidity, you can turn a potato chip bag into an very light hammer:

2) I made and vacuum-sealed a toffee peanut butter cracker jack which did not seal as well.  The toffee and peanut butter chip bits undercut the integrity of the cracker jack and the mixture simply crumbled under vacuum force.  I gave this failure to a Scout group who very much enjoyed it:

Me: How did you like the toffee cracker jacks?
Scout Leader: The kids devoured it.
Me: It came out like gravel.
Scout Leader: But the tastiest gravel the kids ever had.

Shipping out cookies in weights of greater than 13 oz is a bit more expensive than one would wish.  Priority mail becomes the best shipping option and generally this will cost between $7.00 and $10.00 for any sort of goodly sized box.  But if one can successfully pack cookies in an envelope which are shipped at a flat rate of $4.95, things suddenly become much more economical.  There is a phenomenon whereby vacuum packed materials become much more firm and resistant to breakage, especially if granular, and this phenomenon was exploited to great success by roboticists earlier this year to create a universal gripper hand:

So, why not try this with cookies?  I bought a vacuum sealer and got to work making cookies.  I vacuum sealed a dozen cookies and pit it against a control group of a dozen cookies in a Zip-Lock freezer bag.  The vacuum cookies won hands down in the drop test where I dropped the bags from a height of about six feet showing no breakage or deformation.  The vacuum sealed cookies also won in the crush test where I put them under a stack of books.  The one case where the Zip-Lock cookies won was in what I call “initial deformation”, the force of the atmosphere is enough to bend a cookie easily if there’s a hint of gooeyness left in the cookie.  As I want my cookies to still be soft, the work around I came up with was freezing the cookies first.  When I failed to do this, and left the cookies in a windowsill, the vacuum package exhibited a behavior I now call “monocookie”.

I’m happy with the increased resiliency of cookies when vacuum-packed and envelope-mailed but I doubt I’ll ever use this process for things that are even a hint of sticky.  If you get molasses cookies from me in a vacuum pack I probably hate you.

The New York Botanical Garden train show is the highlight of that institution’s winter season.  Their main greenhouse is outfitted with several train displays and reconstructions of NYC landmarks.  The exhibit is quite popular and even though we arrived at opening, we had to wait 3 hours for an available slot.  In the meantime, Tee Jay and I went through the rest of the Gardens.

Most of the Gardens were somewhat barren but the larger elements still came out.

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Big Butterfly

This was a large butterfly in the Children’s Garden.  Around this butterfly were showcases about how plants and animals interact in that delightful prose marking children’s education.  Plants aren’t eaten they’re “consumed” and deer don’t shit out seeds they “transport them”.

The indoor part of the exhibit had binocular microscopes.  Fact: everything looks cool under a 50x binocular microscope.  Teejay and I spent 20 minutes or so hogging them as we just looked at stuff we had on us.  Here, Teejay is absorbed with how dirty his glasses are:

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Tiny World

We still had some time to kill and walked the periphery of the east end of the Gardens.  This boulevard was lined with trees decorated by public school classes and the differences between them were stark.

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Income Disparity Tree

The tree to the right is decorated with plastic ornaments, the tree to the left is decorated with pizza box cut outs.  The pizza box ornaments each had a wish on the back.

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Heart in the Right Place

We made our way to the Haupt Conservatory which had an enclosed staging area with a train theme.  There was a conductor on stilts who had a watch that showed the season instead of the hour.  Periodically she’d yell things like “all aboard, it’s almost 10 of spring!” I wish I could summon such whimsy on command.

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Conductor Kicks

I had seen a few macro shots of the event but the expanse was impressive.

This area:

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Tanjou

Was transformed to this:

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Waiting to Enter

Suspended to the left is something Tee Jay called the “ewok copter” or “wookiee copter”.  I laughed far too loudly at this.  Here it is in detail.

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Ewok Copter

All of the constructs were made of natural materials like twigs, bark, needles, boughs, berries, nuts, and roots.  The cathedral of St. John the Divine was almost five feet tall.

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Sense of Scale

Before going to a venue, I try to determine three to five shots I want.  One was a low angle shot of a train with a distinction sense of “rushing” to it.  Tee Jay politely suffered through my numerous attempts at getting this in several parts.  I forgot my basics and failed to consider using shutter priority to catch movement and instead got mediocre shots like this with no sense of motion:

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Close Call

Only  later did I accidentally get what I wanted but without the sense of size:

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Bridge Blur

Tee Jay and I were both decked out with nice cameras and I had my pocket notebook and we were asked by event staff if we were press.  We said no, but I’m curious what would have happened if I had answered otherwise.

One technique I used during the day was holding up my camera on my monopod with a wide angle lens on it.  The changed perspective made up for my other photographic shortcomings.

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Another High Angle Shot

Sadly, the lights on Yankee Stadium are not trapped fireflies.

The exhibits were a parade of beauty and detail set in idyllic surroundings.  I’ve rarely photographed something I’d call calming and even the frenetic pace of the trains didn’t break the tranquility.  There was very little shoving and all the children were well-behaved.

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Close Splash

Tee Jay and I spent a good bit of time during the day failing to take shots and sharing our photographic inadequacies.  I hope to do it again sometime, maybe when the lily pond returns.

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A piece of lab instrumentation wasn’t functioning. The piece isn’t complicated, consisting of a LCD screen, four buttons, and a way of measuring reflectivity.  Still, it’s necessary for some tests, so I called the manufacturer.

Me: The device’s read out doesn’t appear to be working.
Associate: That tends to happen.  We can repair the unit for $500 or replace it for $1400.
Me: That’s ridiculous.
Associate: Yes, the repair is generally more economical.
Me: No, the prices in general.  I can literally build a supercomputer for $1400 and buy an iPad for $500.  No thank you.
Associate: But how will you do the test?
Me: With a stopwatch, like we did before we had your device.
Associate: What about the time savings of the automated test head?
Me: I’m wage not salaried.  I’ll gladly operate a stopwatch for the rate I’m paid.  Good day.

I regret not dropping in my boss’s observation of “this looks like something built from a kit for Electronics merit badge”.

The 2011 work holiday party was at a restaurant literally a few hundred feet from our main buildings across a field.  Most people walked.  The party included workers from field offices and even housekeeping.  I wonder if the food tasted better knowing they’d not have to clean up for once.  The mingling rooms had well-stocked bars and a swarm of servers hustled things on us more aggressively than I’m used to:

Server: Would you like a bacon-wrapped scallop?
Me: No thank you.
Server: Why not?
Me: I don’t like scallops.
Server: These are good, and wrapped in bacon.
Me: No thank you.
Server: All your friends had one.  Are you saying they have bad taste?
Me: No *takes scallop*
Server: Good move.

I still don’t like scallops.  Either that or the taste of douchebag rubbed off on mine.

The crowd shifted like a flock of Arctic Terns identifying surface fish when the main dining room opened.  The line was long enough that it collapsed into a zigzag like we were waiting for a roller coaster.  The line for pasta and the line for seafood line merged despite going opposite directions confusing many vegetarians and forming a human traffic circle in which a few people got stuck.  Someone I passed on the way to the Philly wraps was still there when I returned later for fiesta tacos.  I wonder how long it took for them to realize they had right of way being on the inside of the circle.