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I usually purchase a breakfast sandwich on the way into work/school for 2.11 plus tax and use that as my breakfast fortified with whatever I can find in work.  But lately Wawa’s been running a promotion where any breakfast sandwich and any sized coffee is 1.99, cheaper than the sandwich alone so I’ve taken to getting coffee.

Recently though, the coffee has given me terrible diarrhea and the following’s resulted:
Coworker: Every morning at about 8:00 Am you seem to go.
Me: Yeah.
Coworker: Do you have a high fiber breakfast or something?
Me: No, I’ve been getting free Wawa coffee, in fact better than free but Wawa coffee gives me terrible diarrhea.
Coworker: So why don’t you stop drinking it?
Me: Then I’d feel I wasted it.
Coworker: So why don’t you stop getting it then?
Me: But, it’s free.

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I usually purchase a breakfast sandwich on the way into work/school for 2.11 plus tax and use that as my breakfast fortified with whatever I can find in work.  But lately Wawa’s been running a promotion where any breakfast sandwich and any sized coffee is 1.99, cheaper than the sandwich alone so I’ve taken to getting coffee.

Recently though, the coffee has given me terrible diarrhea and the following’s resulted:
Coworker: Every morning at about 8:00 Am you seem to go.
Me: Yeah.
Coworker: Do you have a high fiber breakfast or something?
Me: No, I’ve been getting free Wawa coffee, in fact better than free but Wawa coffee gives me terrible diarrhea.
Coworker: So why don’t you stop drinking it?
Me: Then I’d feel I wasted it.
Coworker: So why don’t you stop getting it then?
Me: But, it’s free.

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The advantage to eating while on a treadmill is that crumbs on the track are quickly dropped on the floor where they form a nice pile that my dog Max sucks up like our Dyson.

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Chris:  Terry, you look a little woozy.
Me: I think the bacon’s getting to me.

–30 minutes later–

Chris:  You look a lot better, what’d you do?
Me: Bacon nap.

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As most of you know I don’t drink, much to the consternation of my family and Irish lineage but I nonetheless have a budding interest in mixed drinks.  Diet beverages have been woefully under developed until the last 2 years and I’ve been searching for an improved diet creme soda and today I’ve done it.

20% Diet Orange Slice
80% Barq’s Diet Vanilla Creme

The day is mine

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As most of you know I don’t drink, much to the consternation of my family and Irish lineage but I nonetheless have a budding interest in mixed drinks.  Diet beverages have been woefully under developed until the last 2 years and I’ve been searching for an improved diet creme soda and today I’ve done it.

20% Diet Orange Slice
80% Barq’s Diet Vanilla Creme

The day is mine

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I previously purchased only private label/store brands from eBay to save money but after running into problems with their inferior quality purchased two pairs of Polo shorts marked as New Without Tags (NWOT).  I received them today and felt like a bit of a Philistine as I couldn’t tell if the shorts had actually been used.  The ends of the cargo tabs were frayed, the pockets were rubbed in and the webbing was a bit gnarly, but the tell-tale sign of fat-man-abuse of a damaged crotch and stretch marks at the knees weren’t present.  They also smelled somewhere between sweat sock and springtime baby rain or some equally dumb smell.  The front left pocket contained a small scrap of white paper that had a large 14 written in permanent marker.  Either the seller’s trying to fake inspection or the inspectors are damn poor.

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After FNM, Gregg Wilson and I wanted to accost Marcus Schneider who works at Five Guys for somehow being a manager there. I went in under the guise of purchasing food, a guise I take on very well and upon seeing him not there I ordered a large french fry and a bacon cheeseburger.

Guy: We’re out of large fry containers so you can’t have one.
Me: What?
Guy: My manager doesn’t know how to order things so we don’t have any jumbo fries. Doesn’t really matter because you don’t need that many fries. I can’t even finish them. It’s just two small fries together.

Who does this guy think he is? Not only is he saying that I don’t know how much potato I want but that he can out-eat me. I left in disgust… after I got my bacon cheeseburger and two small orders of fries.

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Me:  Bye, Chris.
Chris (my boss at BMS): You heading out already?
Me: Yeah, I only took a 30 minute lunch break.  Since my computer’s not up and running I don’t have any way to dick around and look at lolcats.
(Aside explaining lolcats, with much puzzlement and confusion)
Chris:  There are other ways you could extend your lunch break to be more reasonable.
Me: How?
Chris:  You could try chewing your food for once.

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Combining pear juice, cinnamon and instant diet peach iced tea mix has resulted in a far less harmonious concoction than I first planned.