I received 80 “Happy Birthdays” on Facebook of some form or another.  Here are my stats on it:

“Happy Birthday” with no mention of name: 25
“Happy Birthday” followed by name, no comma: 30
“Happy Birthday” followed by name, comma:  9
Other: 20

Longest Streak: 9 people in a row wrote “Happy Birthday Terry”.
Likelihood of a Post before 3 AM using a comma correctly:  39%
Likelihood of a post after 3 AM using a comma correctly:  9%

Likelihood that a post method would be followed with the same post method: 38% (28% predicted by random chance).

I wonder how these stats would change from wall to wall.

I am a fan of one thing on Facebook, Not Being on Fire, it’s simply and embraceable as a standard of humanity that I think can unite a people and also has the kind of stock art signage I cherish.  There was a brief window where I was also a fan of “I bet my arbitrary cause get get a million supporters before yours” but that has passed.  Someone I know who runs a store asked me to “like” their store; I clicked “ignore” and I hope he doesn’t notice but I don’t know if “aesthetic reasons” are justified as a reason.  He’s a good fellow who employs neighborhood kids to sell comics in a reasonably well lit stores and could go for beatification should a secular form exist, but he’s no “not being on fire”.

I want to start and join some odd Facebook groups so I can send invites to my enemies:

“Terry Robinson thinks you’d like to become a fan of Not Amounting to Anything/Sodomizing Melons/Decaffeinated Goat Fucking/Treating Cats Like People/Dick Punching/Snoring At Weddings”

Just a thought.

You can now comment through both Disqus and Facebook Connect, meaning you need no other logins to post a comment besides Facebook.  As previously, you may still post anonymously but now your comments will appear in Facebook along with your picture and such appearing in posts if you use Facebook Connect.

You can now comment through both Disqus and Facebook Connect, meaning you need no other logins to post a comment besides Facebook.  As previously, you may still post anonymously but now your comments will appear in Facebook along with your picture and such appearing in posts if you use Facebook Connect.

I received my first Facebook invite today from some I’d rather not speak to.  I’m trying to figure out how to end this as quickly as possible.  My guess is to friend them and write on of the following on her fun wall:

“How are the dogs, do you still go through more cocks than Perdue chicken?”
“Great to hear from you, have you moved on are you still eating your way to the top at Dairy Queen?”
“Wonderful to see you.  I’m curious if dumb bitch is still the strongest attribute on your resume.”
“Hope the family’s well, do you still sleep with more men than a narcoleptic hobo on a crowded bus?”

I want a Facebook utility that automatically accepts challenges for dumb quizzes, scans a database of completed tests for the answers, cross-references it with what other people you know got, and takes the quiz or what ever and yields a score within a standard deviation of what you’ve pre-selected. So Continue reading

I want a Facebook utility that automatically accepts challenges for dumb quizzes, scans a database of completed tests for the answers, cross-references it with what other people you know got, and takes the quiz or what ever and yields a score within a standard deviation of what you’ve pre-selected. So Continue reading