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I went to mail the TI giveaway stuff and encountered an old Indian fellow manning the counter at my local post office, he has far more fun doing his job than he should have:

  • Incident #1:
    Woman: I’d like to ship this perfume overnight.
    Him: I’m sorry, we don’t ship liquids.
    Woman: It’s important.  May I talk to your manager?
    Him: My manager is not here but I’ll tell you what you can do.  Go back in line and try to talk to the lady next to me at the counter.  She has different rules.
    Woman: Really?
    Him: No.  She won’t be able to break rules to ship it, but I was hoping you’d try anyway.
  • Incident #2:
    Him:  Two questions, how would you like to ship these twelve boxes and which one has the bomb in it?
    Fellow: There aren’t any bombs in these.
    Him: Whew… I just thought with so many packages going to DC in identical boxes you were trying to throw off a bomb detect.
    Fellow: Um… no.
    Him: When you do decide to ship the bomb, please use UPS.
  • Incident #3 (Me):
    Him: I see you’re shipping this internationally.  What does it contain?
    Me: Stickers.
    Him: Oooh… What kind?
    Me: Kids stickers.  They have bunnies on them.
    Him: The things kids will do for drugs these days.  Ok.  That’ll be 93 cents.

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I went to mail the TI giveaway stuff and encountered an old Indian fellow manning the counter at my local post office, he has far more fun doing his job than he should have:

  • Incident #1:
    Woman: I’d like to ship this perfume overnight.
    Him: I’m sorry, we don’t ship liquids.
    Woman: It’s important.  May I talk to your manager?
    Him: My manager is not here but I’ll tell you what you can do.  Go back in line and try to talk to the lady next to me at the counter.  She has different rules.
    Woman: Really?
    Him: No.  She won’t be able to break rules to ship it, but I was hoping you’d try anyway.
  • Incident #2:
    Him:  Two questions, how would you like to ship these twelve boxes and which one has the bomb in it?
    Fellow: There aren’t any bombs in these.
    Him: Whew… I just thought with so many packages going to DC in identical boxes you were trying to throw off a bomb detect.
    Fellow: Um… no.
    Him: When you do decide to ship the bomb, please use UPS.
  • Incident #3 (Me):
    Him: I see you’re shipping this internationally.  What does it contain?
    Me: Stickers.
    Him: Oooh… What kind?
    Me: Kids stickers.  They have bunnies on them.
    Him: The things kids will do for drugs these days.  Ok.  That’ll be 93 cents.

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I brought my passport stuff to the post office to get it approved and sent and discovered the postal workers were far from parochial:

Agent 1: Do you have your pictures.
Me: Yes, here. *passes photos*
Agent 1: Where did you get these done?  CVS?
Me: Yes.  How did you know?
Agent 1: The noise pattern, it’s diagnostic of the camera they use.  Normally, they center the head more, but this person did much better.  Diane, what do you think of these?
Agent 2: Wow, normally they the nose as the focal point making the ears a bit blurred, this person focused on your eyes.  Maybe they got someone from Walgreen’s, they tend to do that.
Agent 1: Ward’s always did the best, but they’re no longer.  Remember when Rite-Aid switched to using the Fuji Fine Pix cameras in 2002?
Both at once: Such saturated greens. *laugh*

This is why America has the best postal service on the planet.  I wonder if they could tell me the age of the photo taker based on the height of the shot and the amount of arm-shake.

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I shipped some stuff today, consisting mainly of computer crap and books.  I heaved the boxes on the post office counter and said the first and only first package was media mail and the rest were parcel post.  She marked the remaining boxes as media mail despite me clearly saying otherwise and after hearing the loud metal clunks on moving the box containing the projector and the box containing the computer case said “these are heavy, what are these books on?” My reply: “metallurgy”.

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My atlatl darts came yesterday while I was at work so I picked it up at the post office.  The box was about 7 feet long and 4″ x 4″ prompting the postal worker to ask what it was.  I replied “Do-it-yourself pole vaulting kit”.

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I went to the Southampton Post Office today and after using the Digital Sales Terminal to send a package tried to throw out my receipt but one of the garbage cans was full.  I notified a postal worker about this and received this gem in response: “We empty all the little trashcans into that one throughout the day, so that when we close we only have to empty one trashcan.”  While I respect civil servants questing for efficiency, I believe there’s a shortfall in implementation.

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I went to the Post Office to send some cards to the Czech Republic and encountered an interminable list of Faulknerian Idiot Manchildren as listed below.1.  A women who had 45 Christmas letters, roughly half of which had to go international and 6 packages.  Each item had a single 39 cent stamp on it and roughly 10 minute elapsed in explaining that 39 cents would not send a bottle of Vodka to Kyrgyzstan and another 5 in her saying that the scale was innacurate and that a Christmas card couldn’t possibly weigh more than an oz.

2.  A profoundly fat woman who gave the stare of disgust while forcing her self around me through the double door.  I don’t think she thought the other of the french door was locked despite the fact that her massive ass was opening it as she revealed her idiocy to me.

3.  A man who looked suspiciously up and down the line while I swear he was just faking filling out a customs order and if you looked at him directly he’d stare at a poster of Holiday Stamps.

Whenever someone would reset their feet, the person behind them would shift forward and the whole line would contract.  I failed to observe this rite and was nearly shoved to fill in the 6″ void in front of me.  The line nearly halved its length despite not a single person having been served.