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I purchased a watch yesterday that proved too large.  I looked into a watch band kit on Amazon and the price of $6.00 for what seemed like a bunch of reasonably precise tools seemed to low so I went back to the watch place to have the links removed.

Me: Could you remove two links from this watch chain?
Attendant: Sure *removes links* there you go.
Me: Hey, where do you get your tools?
Attendant: We used to have these expensive ones that came from corporate but they sucked.  We got a set online that worked great.
Me: Where?
Attendant: Amazon.  Cost like six bucks.

Thank you, China.

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With my new ungodly expensive 70-200 I’ve set about selling my old one via Amazon and Craigslist.  I’ve sold lenses before and have never had issues except for on setting a price so I found some of the emails I got over this lens odd:

Email #1:

I a m  i n t e r e s t e d  i n  t h i s l e n s .    P l e a s e  s t a t e  i t s  c u r r e n t  c o n d i t i o n .

The guy literally had an extra space between every character, not just weird kerning.

Email #2:

NEED SIX OF THIS LENS DO YOU HAVE THEM?????

Email #3:

Please send pictures taken with this lens.

(I reply with them)
I can not open pictures, please resend.

My reply: I sent links to the pictures.

His reply: I do not want links, I want pictures.

My reply: I’ll be glad to send you a few as an attachment
(Sent him some attached to an email

His reply: I only see files on the email, no pictures.  Please resend.

I was going to cry a little but happily someone purchased the lens later in the day.

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Now that I have all the pieces I need for my bed after finding a new person with a box spring I set about dressing it.  I went to K-mart, found a style I wanted and picked up a fitted sheet, king pillow case, and artificial down mattress topper which totaled around $90.  Walking towards the register I started to slow as the gears of my mind began turning at what I was doing while a gaggle of neurons shouted “NO!  STORES ARE FOR GROCERIES AND EMERGENCIES NOT HOUSEWEARS.”  I checked Amazon and found my needed items for about $25 cheaper so I put the K-mart ones back.  I walked to the door empty handed and felt bad at having used their retail space more as a catalog than store and tried to come up with a way to thank them but nothing came to mind.  K-mart needs an e-commerce pity tip jar.

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Starting on February 25th, my lenses started slowing down as they crossed the Rockies and my camera body caught a second wind and made a mad dash to meet my lenses in Indianapolis.  From there, they’ve been skipping hand in hand from Indiana to Willow Grove.  Now I just need to be home from 9 AM to 8 PM to pick it up.  I wonder if the cat can sign for packages.

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I received my tax refund/payback of interest-free loan to the government direct deposited this morning and within seconds hit “Checkout” on the Amazon shopping cart that held my new camera and lenses.  I chose “free shipping” and “box so my items get here faster” as even individually each item qualified for free shipping.

I checked the order page and saw that I could upgrade the shipping and for a mere $30, did so and sat satisfied knowing I’d get the camera in time for…nothing.  So I changed it back to FREE! and smiled knowing that by just waiting a few more days, I’d have enough extra money for a day of ribs.  But maybe I could split the difference with two day for a mere $10 and still have it in time for…. nothing.  Switched to two-day and then thought of that shipping as the equivalent of a lunch as a discount Chinese food buffet and after some more waffling I changed it back to FREE! and smirked at my bout of financial weakness.

The items shipped and I started compulsively tracking the packages and noticed something, the boxes with the lenses and the boxes with the camera were diverging.  During my waffling, the box with the lenses shipped as 2nd day air while the camera itself didn’t ship until after I went back to FREE! ground shipping.  Looks like I’m going to have a tea party with my lenses on my birthday as that’s about all I’ll be able do.

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While searching for a Velociraptor Drive I found this on Amazon.

Velociraptor Drive/Self-Tanning

Velociraptor Drive/Self-Tanning

The price and product information is for the drive but the feedback is for the self-tanning cream.  Unless a drive could be described as “streaky and orange”.

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I’ve begun collecting Pepsi points for the Amazon Unbox downloads and finally cashed some in today.  I could get a single track for 5 points or the whole album for 60.  While I could theoretically “win” if I bought all tracks from an album with less than 12 tracks.   I gunned it for some symphanies I liked hoping they’d be listed as a single track, no dice, they were broken up by movement.  Time to get a little more, modern.  As anyone who’s worked with me knows, I greatly enjoy the School of Estonian Sacred Minimalism especially Arvo Part.  Looking through the catalog I found an album of his that contained the following:

Track 1 – 5 minute chorus for SATB
Track 2 – 38 minute mediation on the void of space for orchestra with sacbut and hurdy gurdy or some other ridiculous arrangement.

10 points, 1 album, WHAT A BAAAARGAIN!

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One of the activities I’d like to do for the Playwicki camporee involves kids splicing with pool noodles.  Pool noodles are apparently damn expensive out of season at 3 to 5 bucks a pop so I thought I could buy in bulk.  I checked Amazon and found a large bundle for $99.00.  It didn’t actually give a quantity just that it was “15 lbs of pool noodles”.  Pool noodles aren’t goods I typically buy by the pound as this is like purchasing cups of rope or a slices of cheese in nanohectares.  So, if anyone has any pool noodles, I’d like to know their weight.

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One of the activities I’d like to do for the Playwicki camporee involves kids splicing with pool noodles.  Pool noodles are apparently damn expensive out of season at 3 to 5 bucks a pop so I thought I could buy in bulk.  I checked Amazon and found a large bundle for $99.00.  It didn’t actually give a quantity just that it was “15 lbs of pool noodles”.  Pool noodles aren’t goods I typically buy by the pound as this is like purchasing cups of rope or a slices of cheese in nanohectares.  So, if anyone has any pool noodles, I’d like to know their weight.

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I signed up for Amazon Prime for free 2 Day shipping thinking it’d be faster and indeed it is.  But it’s so fast, when you buy it, Amazon ships like 8 seconds after you click buy.  Normally I buy and then use the cancel feature, that option is now gone.  My unseasoned cast iron skillet arrived.  I didn’t want the skillet, and I can’t return it as the return shipping for cast iron skillets runs about as much as the skillet.  The skillet now sits next to the 10 inch skillet, plane micrograter, Dilbert calender, and pot lid sorter as reminders that Amazon Prime works by different rules.  Be warned impulse shoppers, be warned.