Starting on February 25th, my lenses started slowing down as they crossed the Rockies and my camera body caught a second wind and made a mad dash to meet my lenses in Indianapolis. From there, they’ve been skipping hand in hand from Indiana to Willow Grove. Now I just need to be home from 9 AM to 8 PM to pick it up. I wonder if the cat can sign for packages.
Watchmen Reactions
Notes from seeing The Watchmen:
- Ozymandias is an idiot. He speech is slurred and he looks stoned, I’m also confident he wouldn’t hang out with David Bowie. Anthony Hopkins + Time Machine = Correct Ozymandias.
- Both the young and old Walter Kovaks/Rorschach look uncannily like…. Walter Kovaks/Rorshach.
- I almost cried during the opening credits. I normally hate the montage, but this one dripped with detail. And it also had to overcome the fact that I hate Bob Dylan.
- Bubastis came out of nowhere and looked out of place in a movie where a 200 foot tall blue guy with an jangly dong was pulled off reasonably well.
- Joe and I expected Dr. Manhattan to be more otherworldly in voice, but after thinking about it, not sounding crazy weird makes sense. His cool delivery of text reinforces the unimportance he attaches to most things.
- If there were an Academy Award for Respectable Acting in a Comic Book Recreation Night Owl II would get it.
- Flamethrower as proxy for orgasm: Best. Innuendo. Ever.
- There was a lot of butt in the movie. A lot. And blue dong, but a lot of butt.
- The riot scenes from the comic seemed much grander. Less “angry band” and more “crush of humanity”.
- The poisoned scientists make more sense than when they just kinda die in the comic.
- The opening panel occupied like 15 minutes of the movie. No wonder they couldn’t fit everything.
- Why did Manhattan pop people? Seemed like he could have just vaporized them.
- The Frontiersman magazine was never explained.
- The smiley face on Mars is really the Galle Crater. It exists.
- Captain Metropolis’s package showed up enough times that it joins the Smiley Face, Clock and Gordian Knot lock company as a motif.
If you saw the movie, Gizmodo had a wonderful photoshop contest around it. Our photoshopping skills have come so far.
Insufficient Photography
I asked my brother for recommendations on a camera stand. He responded that I hadn’t taken enough pictures to justify looking for one. Hm… In the past 10 days I’ve taken 1547. I guess I’m new at this.
Camera Mockery
I anticipate sometime in our future doctors’, occupational therapists’ and osteopaths’ offices being filled with people who have chronic elbow pain from “Digital Camera Elbow” whereby instead of using the zoom function the camera user extends the arms and peers at the live view to take a picture as follows:
The combination of poor focus, unsteady arms, cantilever jiggle amplification, and crappy cameras results in shots that if properly tamed could create a pleasing pointilist effect when the wobble is combined with noise from poor ISO usually results in 12 megapixels of meh. We decided to create a shrine to these Wizards of Wobble. Here are two:
I have to admit. There’s a certain amount of athleticism involved in cantilever photography. Kyle suffered lower back pain on the second take.
Missed Cheers for Missed Person
Today was the last day for one of my coworkers. I mourn the loss of such an adroit generator of gaffs and faux paus but I suppose even the most ersatz muse must eventually die or leave Never-Never Land. We purchased the 34 pizzas for the seven of us and after we began lapsing into the pizza coma we started telling stories as was tradition. Having had six going away parties some Pavlovian response to pizza and departure made every start telling stories about me. Periodically the tales would drift back to the real departing person but would inevitably lead back to my exploits, nay, legends. I had to leave early to see The Watchmen and someone besides the departing person said “We’ll miss you”. I feel loved.
Purchasing History
I just received my American Express purchase breakdown. Once a year, they send me what I’ve spent my money on for the year and they’re delighted to say they’ve added tags from other users. Looks like this year I spent most of my money on “stuff” and “things”. Good to know.
Vicarious Computer Purchase
As the office nerd I’ve created stock speeches for purchasing home electronics. My tablet vs. non-tablet essay was used by an entire sales department and my Mac vs. PC and XBox 360 vs. PS3 polemic has become stock office conversation for my elightened position of ‘use what all your friends use’. Today, I purchased an entire computer via courier:
Coworker: So, do I go with Vista 32 or 64?
Me: Go with 64, it’s more secure and most of the bugs have been worked out.
*Coworker leaves and later returns*
Coworker: Does the case size matter?
Me: Not much, mid-tower cases are easier to upgrade and replace parts on if you plan on having it for a while.
*Several visits later*
Coworker:Â How much RAM should I go with?
Me: Just get two gigs and buy more from a cheaper provider.
*Coworker leaves and later returns*
Coworker: How should I have them…*I cut him off*
Me: Get two 1 gig DIMMs rather than four 512 meg DIMMs.
Coworker: What about…*I cut him off*
Me: As long as the clock speed of the extra RAM is above or equal to the stuff that comes with it you’ll be fine.
Coworker: Who…*I cut him off*
Me: Doesn’t really matter, but I’m a fan of Mushkin, Corsair, OCZ, or Crucial.
Phone-Do
Driving to work at the crack of noon involves sharing the road with the retired, jobless, and equally late. I got stuck behind this guy on his phone waving frantically and driving erratically. These are the kind of people that make me not answer my phone when I’m driving… sometimes. I passed him on Street Rd and found he had no cell phone; just a oblong tuft of hair on the right side of his head which grease, grit and time molded into a whip antenna of insanity. What was he yelling at? Immitating opera? Was his hair thick enough or did it contain enough embedded metal shards to function as a Bluetooth headset? More mysteries.
Curious Razor
Penny Arcade’s recent comic comments on Gillette’s Razor Power Fusion for Gamers. Â The Amazon product info states the following:
Also living inside the handle is the onboard microchip, which creates an entirely new platform of technology that improves the system’s performance and brings electronics to wet shaving for the first time. The microchip serves three primary functions: It regulates voltage for consistent power, it controls the Low Battery Indicator Light, which alerts you when the battery runs low, so you always have power when you need it, and it powers theAutomatic Shut-Off, which turns the razor off after about 8 minutes in case of accidental activation and protects the battery during travel.
There’s no actual indication of what the onboard microchip does. Â The power functions are entirely self-referential and part of me thinks it’s a joke. Â But I kind of hope it isn’t strictly to watch it fail. Â I felt the same way about Mana Energy drink and Gamer Grub, as if gamer’s used unique muscles and obscure metabolic pathways that explained our collective lethargy as our bodies recovered from byzantine demands and scarcities of rare earth metals required to keep us going.
I see this entirely the work of some daft marketer who will next debut a razor or shaving social network and some facial hair night club in 2nd Life. Â This razor “helps you collaborate memes on the Web 2.0” and “your hair is now open source. Â Have your soul patch collaborate on our wiki” and other such rubbish. Â Although there are several beards and moustaches I’d follow on Twitter.
Burrito Zone
It’s been a bit of an office ritual that a coworker of mine would scan my clothing for food stains. Â Most have some sort of culinary christening as despite my best efforts I usually get hit with something. Â Recently, I somehow got a bit of egg under my dunlop. Â The next day, I somehow managed to get a blot of ketchup on my shirt and pants positioned symmetrically about my waist like I’d dropped the Heinz bottle and caught it by kneeing myself in the bosom.
But something magical happens when I’m driving.  While eating while driving lies somewhere between road-head and the radio in terms of lethality I can safely consume an entire chicken cheese steak while driving.  Today I stunned my coworkers by eating a Chipotle steak, rice and pepper burrito one-handed with not a blot show.  Maybe if I got a MarioKart wheel or simply played Radar Love I could emulate this road-borne success at the work desk.