One of my computer instructors has started to take attendance but doesn’t yet require participation. Miffed at this waste of my Wednesday evenings I tried to find the most obvious way to be there without being there.
I walked in, sat down, spread out my 1099s and W2s, a sharpened pencil, nice pen, and a calculator and I proceeded to do my taxes as obviously as I could muster. I’ve never had so much fun completing a 1040 in my life.
CIS 1055 requires us to create a cross linked site for an organization in which we participate. Suddenly the Ockanickon Leader Guide that I’ve slaved over for nigh on two months is useful. I added some stupid functionality like an image map and a few other things and one thing was the addition of a midi that starts when you click on something in this case Scout Vespers plays when you click the map itself. This was ultimately my undoing as the instructor thought I mislabeled the MIDI file as “Oh, Christmastree” instead of “Scout Vespers”. For both the non-Boy Scouts that read this, Scout Vespers is the same tune as “Oh, Christmastree”.
CIS 1055 requires us to create a cross linked site for an organization in which we participate. Suddenly the Ockanickon Leader Guide that I’ve slaved over for nigh on two months is useful. I added some stupid functionality like an image map and a few other things and one thing was the addition of a midi that starts when you click on something in this case Scout Vespers plays when you click the map itself. This was ultimately my undoing as the instructor thought I mislabeled the MIDI file as “Oh, Christmastree” instead of “Scout Vespers”. For both the non-Boy Scouts that read this, Scout Vespers is the same tune as “Oh, Christmastree”.
We did an activity in CIS 1055 where we had to compare the layers of memory in the system versus the human mind. This was quite possibly the most tortured analogy I’ve seen in a long time. This is what the instructor wanted:
CMOS- Internal clock
Cache-ability to plan
ROM-reflexes
RAM-what’s on your mind
Upon realizing that no one was going to stand up and pose any options, I wrote the following on the white board.
RAM – Fiery passion
CMOS – Obsessive Compulsive tile counting
Cache – Ability to negotiate a Tijuana standoff
Rom – Reflexive love of hickory smoked baby back ribs, mmmmm ribs
The teacher accepted these answers without question and applauded my originality.
I was thinking of defining RAM as a dancing in a spring time rain and CMOS being the pounding of your heard when you first experience true love but decided not to for fear of people believing me.
Test question from CIS 1055 Midterm:Â Which of the following is the largest representation of data?
A) MB
B) ZB
C) TB
D) GB
Correct answer: B, but the “correct” answer was C. Apparently someone never heard of the zettabyte or 10^21 bytes.
I narrowly missed the arrival of the 5:43 PM train so I went to the bathroom and started checking my email, in the process confirming a suspicion I’ve had since going to Temple. Every bathroom stall in a building with a wifi connection receives a signal yet approximately 1/3rd of the bathrooms do not. I applaud the Temple Technology Committee’s prioritization.
My computer class required me to make a PowerPoint presentation and sell my soul. I’ve always been a powerpoint minimalist, a Steve Reich or Phillip Glass. When I’m doing a presentation I am the center of attention and the slide merely contains words so forceful my lungs alone cannot imbue them with enough force. I use images to amuse and themes merely because it seems to be required these days and to keep things apart stylistically if I’m doing more than one training session.
This class required the following:
My guerrilla presentation went over well, except for the 39 f-bombs Patton Oswalt used.
My computer usage class is the bane of my existence. I sit in a computer lab for 3 hours and get dumber. For instance, we rotate through the front terminal to demonstrate stuff and I was yelled at for using keyboard shortcuts because people can’t follow them. (I retaliated by upping the mouse sensitivity to some retarded level to make it inscrutable to the human eye, but I digress.) We moved to the web-development portionContinue reading
My computer usage class is the bane of my existence. I sit in a computer lab for 3 hours and get dumber. For instance, we rotate through the front terminal to demonstrate stuff and I was yelled at for using keyboard shortcuts because people can’t follow them. (I retaliated by upping the mouse sensitivity to some retarded level to make it inscrutable to the human eye, but I digress.) We moved to the web-development portionContinue reading
One of my class mates mentioned that she was born on a flight from Tallinn to Riga, Estonia which are a bit over 100 miles apart. I find this feet impressive in both that someone flew such a short distance but was able to give birth during that period of time. She’s a junior so I’ll assume it was when Estonia was a Soviet client state and the airplane was pulled by a team of donkeys.