by ·0 Comments

Fudge in an exercise in seeing how small you can get sugar crystals. You do this by interfering with crystallization by mixing multiple sugar types, letting the fudge get as close to solidifying without touching it and inducing crystal formation, and finally by beating the hell out of the fudge after it’s cooled.

The fudge I wanted to make is a maple walnut fudge because
1) it tastes like Vermont
2) sugar is a cheaper input per pound than chocolate

I generally prepare double batches as baked goods scale and I like to feed people. Normally, this saves time, normally. The recipe called for the syrup to be brought to 240 degrees and at 230 degrees the mixture boiled over. I transferred the mix to another pan after cleaning up a lot of burned sugar I began heating it again. At 230 degrees the mixture boiled over and I thought “why did that happen? I heated it slowly” not remembering that heating rate in no way changes boiling point.

Good job, Terry.

I poured the mixture into a very high stock pot and boiled it directly to 240 degrees. Good thing I went to school for chemistry.

by ·0 Comments

Sometimes when making something I’ve made before I’ll be reckless.  Yesterday I attempted to make a standard chocolate fudge but either used bum chocolate or allowed it to seize and this resulted in a final fudge with the consistency of sand.  It was devoid of smoothness and had the consistency of Necco wafers and my coworkers none-the-less destroyed it.  Every horrible piece of its four pound bulk was gone by four PM with comments like “it fights back unlike regular fudge” and “it’s so rich you can barely cut it”.

I don’t know if my coworkers are desperate or just being nice but I hope there’s a day after I destroy a baked good that one will raise his or her head above the heard and point to me yelling “defiler of all that is right in the world of baking, repent for ye hath sinned!”  That person will identify the taint within my baking soul and I will go through a ritual involving taking sugar from every level between syrup and caramel and back again.  Thus cleansed, I will again pay attention to what I’m doing in the kitchen and such baking foulness will be behind me.

by ·0 Comments

The bars of white chocolate lingered, slowly being picked at by those foolish enough to be pulled in by their sickeningly sweet siren song.  White chocolate coats the mouth and punches the pancreas but does little else.  So I asked if anyone would mind that I took the remaining bars home with me to reforge them into something more compelling like a proper fudge or maybe, just maybe… chocolate.  The four wrapped bars sat silently awaiting their reincarnation as I mixed water, corn syrup, and sugar into a pot and started melting dark chocolate.  The bars were chopped and added to the dark and baking chocolate to be reincarnated as the cocoa half of a chocolate fudge and I smiled as the last remnants of identity “MAUI 2010, GREAT JOB” slipped from their faces.  “I will make you better” I said as I mixed the two parts together at around 110ËšF and let them sit.

This morning, I was greeted with… incredibly crappy fudge.  Somehow, their white chocolate in under 8 ounces destroyed the quality of the other four pounds I had prepared, turning it to a gloopy pile.  I had to re-melt and forge the fudge anew again to get it to a reasonable consistency.  On Monday, I will bring it into work and be met as a savior.

by ·0 Comments

The fudge from yesterday was quite good.  Not “salvage an otherwise shitty day” good, but nonetheless good.

I headed to Chris Fosmire’s house with the parts of the Bucktail for assembly and adviserly merriment.  I got there and laid out the parts and 1/2 the group assembled inserts while the rest of the group folded.  If I had my stuff together, I would have collated the center sheets and either stapled them or at least sorted them.  Midway through, we realized that some of the households were to receive two copies of the newsletter which happened because of a glitch in my formula for determining if the two people had the same address.  Finally, someone noted that some of the content was cut off by the fold because of how much paper was in the middle.  I was hoping this was going to be my last Bucktail, the magnus opus of newsletter generation for Ajapeu Lodge and the last time I’d have to fabricate content on behalf of a youth but I can’t let my legacy end with such obvious flaws.

I look forward to seeing what I will have done wrong in 2012 to keep me on until 2013.

by ·0 Comments

I wanted to wake up at about 9 AM today to go to camp and take pictures at the Lenape Klondike Derby but popped my head off of my pillow around 2:30 PM and realized I had pretty much wasted the day.  I could have salvaged it by cleaning or planning a night out, or even working on second job stuff, but I had committed to the path of failure and I would follow through on it.  Lunch was a hot dog, and after using my treadmill, I decided not to shave nor did I cut my hair as I had planned.  I didn’t get the mail, I put off finishing a white paper and went to bed around 3 AM after playing video games and going food shopping.  My only redeeming act was attempting to make fudge and that I will not know how that turned out until tomorrow.  I eventually got to sleep by thinking that some sort of cosmic balance ruled and somewhere, some nerd just proved Goldbach’s Conjecture or made it to 3rd base.

by ·0 Comments

I received a list of about 20 tests to perform to characterize a product and I started picking them off one by one but had a question and walked over the requester’s office where he was happily munching on the fudge I brought in.  He asked me if I had tried any of the fudge brought back from a meeting, I told him I made it and he froze up.  I asked him about a test method and how tricky it would be and he told me to not do it, so I returned to the list.

About 2 hours later, I had another question and went to his office to find him drinking a Pepsi Max.  I told him it was odd that we both liked Pepsi Max and brought in 20 oz bottles as well, he said he got it from a meeting so I pressed him for the location.  He said the refrigerator and again froze up on finding out he was consuming something of mine.  He again told me to skip the test about which I had a question as well as two others.

I wonder if I could convince him that I supplied the building’s toilet paper.