OA weekend Sundays have three distinct of which the first is to wake up at a time before you ever should and be forced to be fully composed in front of children who’ve just gone through a possibly life changing experience. The combination of fatique, disorientation, and putting on an air of composure will probably [...]
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There are some little tasks I do around the house that I consider important sorting mail and filtering out things that shouldn’t go into the fridge. I was worried about these being completed during my time away but returned to see that they’d been done with mixed results: 1) The mail was sorted into two piles: My [...] While our tenants are theoretically renters we’ve very much taken a “you break it you bought it” attitude to home repairs. One accidentally flushed a toilet bowl freshener which stopped up the toilet in ways that polyurethane foam couldn’t. He attacked it for several hours with a combination of a plunger, a toilet snake, a trash [...] I left work early to meet the FiOS technician who was install my father’s TV service. Four months without the Mystical Hitler/Bigfoot History Channel rendered him near catatonic and he clawed open his wallet to fix it. The technician arrived and things went poorly quickly: Him: Where’s your existing install? We’ll need to replace the router with [...] Most rituals of American Christmas were outsourced to one our tenants’ girlfriends. She decorated the tree, purchased a poinsettia, and even set up stockings. Today, she filled those stockings but with only two items: candy canes and wet wipes. Either she was never able to master the tactic of slowly removing the wrapping as one finishes [...] My cleaning methods are stepwise. Rooms or sets of rooms are purged of the extraneous. This has included trashing vestiges of youth, vestiges of family, and, in some cases seemingly, vestiges of others’ sanity. I recently attacked the chunk of rooms around my father’s bedroom and he decided to clean too. He filled four or five [...] My brother is growing up and buying his a house (with assistance) and I’m mourning/celebrating his imminent departure. I looked around the house, joyed at the crap he’d take with him, especially the things that were my mother’s that he took over, like the curio for porcelain filled with shot glasses or stereo cabinet that nicely [...] I’ve always hated with a profound passion product commercials with ridiculous setups such as the vacuum cleaner that demolishes a pyramid of sand (my favorite was the hand-held vacuum that picked up a bucket of bolts on carpet, like they’d spilled there moments before a party was to begin). During my road to colonic convalescence I’ve [...] I’ve always hated with a profound passion product commercials with ridiculous setups such as the vacuum cleaner that demolishes a pyramid of sand (my favorite was the hand-held vacuum that picked up a bucket of bolts on carpet, like they’d spilled there moments before a party was to begin). During my road to colonic convalescence I’ve [...] I was sent home yesterday by one of the camp’s august medical experts after having shat in multiples of 5 for the last few days. All was well, I thought, until I returned to camp, had a sandwich whereas a four hour count-down began to colonic destruction. Normally, I wouldn’t mind being sent home, except for I [...] |
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