Biased Sampling is a fallacy committed when some members of a group are less likely to be included in a selection than others biasing an outcome. This fallacy takes two general forms and I’ll discuss both below.Continue reading
Dick In A Box meets something between say Web 1.2 and Web 1.7
The Dick In a Box video, first introduced to me by Teejay Green many moons ago has finally met with web 2.0 to create the Dick in a Box shirt. This video that represents one of five funny things that SNL has produced since Will Ferrell left. Anyway, the shirt is available through tshirtbordello. I particularly like the person modelling the shirt trying to avoid eye contact because he’s wearing a Dick in a Box t-shirt.
The False Truths about Chuck Norris's Falsenesses aren't True
Chuck Norris: ‘Truth’ book is a lie from PensacolaNewsJournal.com
Chuck Norris is suing Penguin Group Inc. for producing a book containing Chuck Norris facts. I’m angry at Chuck Norris for being a humorless dick that thinks that Chuck Norris jokes some how slander his name. He’s already done himself enough harm by supporting the science-ostrich Mike Huckabee and saying evolution isn’t real. I’m angry at Penguin for taking jokes in the public domain and placing it under copyright giving them legal recourse against anyone making new Chuck Norris jokes for stealing their IP. Protest by consuming as many Chuck Norris jokes as you can before the case is settled.
Goodbye 2007, hello…. 2006
New Year’s Eve was spent at the Rimmer household where Joe, Kendra, Pat and myself spent most of our time avoiding Clara’s sister and her friends. One fellow was nice and looked suspiciously like David Krumholtz from Addams Family Values and was continually assaulted by his daughter that thought there was no such thing as having too many blankets. Pat made a vague attempt at introducing me to a women that “wasn’t interested in men” at the time which joined the long line of lesbians and pregnant women at which I’ve made passes.
We then moved to a 110 minute game of Taboo. Mr. Rimmer went through 13 cards in one round, mostly by ignoring the timer and counting clues he didn’t like. Genius.
Finally, during the ball drop the little clock disappeared from the screen so we all depended on inaccurate watches to guess when 2008 began. Joe won by realizing his watch was off by 23 minutes making me realize why he always missed most of each episode of MASH.
How to Wake a Dan Beard Director
- A smear of photos from the staff reunion mostly focusing on volleyball. Flickr set
- Kevin Ott, a long time member of Ockanickon’s Varsity Sleep Team wasn’t awake by noon thirty so we went to roust him. The process was both simple and inefficient, a proper Ockanickon solution. Six people surrounded him, lifted his bed, shook fiercely and set him back down. He was awoken by Scout Spirit.
- Harold Frederick didn’t make it but had RSVP’d. I hope he’s okay.
- My iTune’s track library exploded and I foolishly synced my iPod afterwards destroying about everything in its library. We drove there listening to the Royal Albert Hall Cast of Les Miserables and back to Air Supply and the barbershop group Gas House Gang. To avoid such complications, I’ll have a copy of Abbey Road on CD as backup.
Podiatric Health My Ass
A gift I wanted to get the family for Christmas was the PedPod. It featured the requisite ridiculous commercial to show its efficacy over normal foot shaping devices and after overcoming my apprehension at purchasing something that looks like one plants to get a child rapist promptly realized how dumb it was and got my loved ones useful gifts. In a spate of fate my brother received what I can only call a foot file which looks like the illegitimate stepchild of a hairbrush and a cheese grater. I used the device and began chiseling/grating away years of dead podiatric cells when I stopped and decided to empty it and was greeted with a pile of snow that could have been confused for primo Columbia blow. After completing this fill/empty/shudder cycle about three times I started hitting non-dead cells, stopped and stood up where I promptly fell over. Apparently, my callouses had become structural and over the last couple hours have had to lean forward slightly to keep balance. I hope I don’t encounter any headwinds while walking.
Hot Potato
After FNM, Gregg Wilson and I wanted to accost Marcus Schneider who works at Five Guys for somehow being a manager there. I went in under the guise of purchasing food, a guise I take on very well and upon seeing him not there I ordered a large french fry and a bacon cheeseburger.
Guy: We’re out of large fry containers so you can’t have one.
Me: What?
Guy: My manager doesn’t know how to order things so we don’t have any jumbo fries. Doesn’t really matter because you don’t need that many fries. I can’t even finish them. It’s just two small fries together.
Who does this guy think he is? Not only is he saying that I don’t know how much potato I want but that he can out-eat me. I left in disgust… after I got my bacon cheeseburger and two small orders of fries.
Where's my bacon!
I didn’t sleep much yesterday evening and was kinda giggly at Friday Night Magic (FNM). I brought a router to add to the store so I could dick around online during events in between rules questions and while waiting to install it practiced my impression of a router undercover as a horseshoe crab. Trevor Rowe (pictured, right) said something dumb and I wanted to hit him, so I chose another way to hit him.
I call it the router slap. It’s the IT equivalent of a bitch slap. I strongly recommend all GeekSquad employees learn this maneuver.  I think the whole picture is sold by the guy with the Fritos doing the “oh shit!” face in the background and the guy over my right arm.
Is this why you left UBS?
I’ve been trying to get together with Dave Post, a high school chum, for some time as he’s only in town rarely when he invited me to a gathering being held by a mutual friend. The host’s boyfriend had his Wii and was playing DDR with a degree of interest to which he probably didn’t want to admit. Later, more people were present and each in turn failed at their first feeble attempts at DDR until someone proposed having everyone in charge of one direction and to use their hands. The simplest song went well and feeling cocky they upped it to a song that’d normally require having three feet. It sounded like a half dozen jackboots in a tumble dryer. The combination of Ivy League degrees and professional certifications failed where many 14-year olds have succeeded. Sadly, they gave up before I could get my camera.
Applied Mathematics, eh?
One of my co-workers was doing a test involving literally hundreds of paper towels. She’d throw them out and quickly fill the small garbage bins of which we have about 8 along avoiding the 55 gallon drum on wheels as well. She continued to fill these small bins until all 8 were full and she started dumping the paper towels in the personal garbage bins of the technicians. As she approached mine with a hand full of wet paper towels I asked her why she didn’t just use the big drum. She replied that she didn’t want to fill it if someone else needed it.  It’s a fifty five gallon drum with net capacity of 8 times the smaller cans she’s filling. She’s said she has a degree in applied mathematics. I think one of the two words in that degree should be removed.