We have a consult in who seemed technically competent. He spent all yesterday and today doing something in the command line and I distinctly remember seeing PuTTY, the command line, and WS_FTP. Turns out he was trying to remote in from his laptop into the computer on his desktop.  Said computer had a keyboard, mouse and monitor already attached. I was very much relieved that he was paid via one-time fee rather than per hour.
Tag: computing
Vicarious Computer Purchase
As the office nerd I’ve created stock speeches for purchasing home electronics. My tablet vs. non-tablet essay was used by an entire sales department and my Mac vs. PC and XBox 360 vs. PS3 polemic has become stock office conversation for my elightened position of ‘use what all your friends use’. Today, I purchased an entire computer via courier:
Coworker: So, do I go with Vista 32 or 64?
Me: Go with 64, it’s more secure and most of the bugs have been worked out.
*Coworker leaves and later returns*
Coworker: Does the case size matter?
Me: Not much, mid-tower cases are easier to upgrade and replace parts on if you plan on having it for a while.
*Several visits later*
Coworker:Â How much RAM should I go with?
Me: Just get two gigs and buy more from a cheaper provider.
*Coworker leaves and later returns*
Coworker: How should I have them…*I cut him off*
Me: Get two 1 gig DIMMs rather than four 512 meg DIMMs.
Coworker: What about…*I cut him off*
Me: As long as the clock speed of the extra RAM is above or equal to the stuff that comes with it you’ll be fine.
Coworker: Who…*I cut him off*
Me: Doesn’t really matter, but I’m a fan of Mushkin, Corsair, OCZ, or Crucial.
CSS Wanting Layout Engines and Browser Warfare
I’ve trying to get rid of the frames in the OSR Program and Leader Guide. Frames make it hard to link to things so I’ve been working on a pure CSS menu system like they have at GRC. They’re setup is full of wierd hacks to make Safari 7.9.1 work correctly and so on so I tried something stripped down and came up with this. I think it looks nice and would go wonderfully under the OSR banner. There’d be more links simplifying navigation and adding and removing links would be a snap, except it DOESN’T WORK AT ALL UNDER IE 6. Every other browser from Mosaic 4.0 to Firefox’s Fennec mobile browser alpha to Ice Weasel renders it correctly except for IE 6.
Knowing IE 6 would figure heavily into the usage patterns of the proletariat leaders browsing the site leaving it there and letting users realize they’re the dalit of web users wasn’t an option. So after learning a little javascript and a lot of Ctrl+U (view page source) and violating some IP laws I go this gem. It’s the red-headed stepchild of menus replacing the absolutely lovely previous menu with a kludge that only properly renders in IE6.
Maybe I should just create two versions of the sites: I was thinking this’d be a chore until I realized it may save me some work. If someone’s still using IE 6 that version would direct the user to a form that’d go to me so I could send them a copy of the web page on stone tablets which is the appropriate level of support for someone who hates the World Wide Web enough to abuse it with their knuckle-dragging tech competence. Or if they’re a little better than that, I’ll make one that’s just one giant page; the web equivalent of a double elephant folio. I’ll even include the PDFs as images that way it could literally be the only page they have to visit for camp information. “Yes, ma’am. The document you need is there. Make sure your browser window is full screen then hit tab 214 times, and press print screen.”
For Knotgeek: I blame this on Opera. By bringing up the whole concept of standards-compliant rendering they freed the dove of hope only to be struck by IE 6’s failboulder.
I'll Miss You, Ubuntu
After my desktop reinstall farce I was caught bewildered when my laptop BSODed me on startup. It couldn’t possibly be related to removing the hard drive while the computer was still on during a RAM upgrade. No, not at all. Boot CD after recovery disk failed to circumvent the BSOD until I hit up that it could be problems with the boot loader and that I should try another file system. So I installed Ubuntu (Intrepid Ibix) and the format went splendidly. Ubuntu was up and running in a jiff with no noticable errors, prancing about digital fields as per its namesake. Then I inserted the Vista disk and I could see the computer frown “so soon?” it said. Inviting me with prompt boot time, the freedom of an open source OS that I could cock-up to my hearts content, and really a much nicer default background than Vista. But alas, I wanted my tablet interface I never used to work, and support for an office suite that I often replace with Notepad, and finally the knowledge that it’s slow but so is everyone elses.
Edit: Looks like the Ibex shit in the punch bowl. It’s replaced boot loader, and now my computer’s shitting out something about GRUB errors. It appears Linux can play hardball when it wants to. I’ll get the best of him, I’ve yet to meet a hard drive that can resist the allure/destructive field lines of a neobdynium rare earth magnet.
Trojan Horse Gifts
Team Interrobang has had a spate of people (we think) using wall hacks (ways to see through things you’re not supposed to, like concrete) to cheat in Team Fortress 2. I talked to a high school friend about what he did to track cheaters when he ran a server he said he’d use a coordinate tracker to help make demos showing impossible shots and such. I follow his instructions, jump into a game, he tells me the start command and suddenly I can see through everything. His solution to dealing with wallhacks, was to run a better wallhack. Shit. Team Fortress has built in software that generates hashes of game files to find cheaters, I think I could hear his hack humping and ravashing the EXEs and DLLs that Valve monitors so, knowing I couldn’t wait for a normal shut down before I received the irrevocable title of “cheater”. I ripped the power cord out of the wall.
Guess who’s got two thumbs and is going to spent Turkey Day scrubbing his hard drive with a rare-earth magnet? This guy!
If the above was a little too technical for your taste, here’s a video of a warthog running into a lion.
Ribbon Interface Ninja
The Office 2007 interface has been much maligned despite what I think is its GUI splendor. Despite having some installation problems, I’ve come to love the way the ribbon interface rewards exploration and cuts click-paths from 1-7 clicks to 2-3. At the lodge executive board meeting, the uphill battle faced by UI designers hit home as I was trying to help someone change some things about the lodge minutes. He’s a normally sharp kid but apparently had been enraptured by the hatred of the ribbon.
Him: How do I change the margins this way? Everything’s so hard.
Me: Click over a tab.
Him: What tab?
Me: See that thing at the top.
Him: Yeah.
Me: Where there’s a bunch in a row that correspond to large categories of document modification.
Him: Yeah.
Me: Where if you hit tab you move over one.
Him: Yeah.
Me: That’s a tab.
Him: Oh. Okay. So how do I change the margins in this “print tab” (he actually used air quotes)
Me: Click margin. And pick the one you want, you can even preview what it’ll look like by doing a mouse-over.
Him: Oh. Why didn’t I know this before.
Me: Fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of the new. Embrace it, and you shall become an Office Ninja.
Him: One day, Terry. One day.
Economist.com's Take on The Command Line
I found the following in an Economist.com article on why kids can’t read:
No question, without a wimpy GUI, computers would never have become as popular as they are today. The command-line interface—with its forbidding prompt and blinking cursor—required mastering a whole catechism of arcane instructions that only a priesthood of computerdom could cherish.
When “root@computername:~# shutdown -h now†could be replaced by a simple click of a mouse to switch off a computer, novices of all ages and backgrounds could climb aboard the digital bandwagon.
via Economist.comÂ
Economist.com's Take on The Command Line
I found the following in an Economist.com article on why kids can’t read:
No question, without a wimpy GUI, computers would never have become as popular as they are today. The command-line interface—with its forbidding prompt and blinking cursor—required mastering a whole catechism of arcane instructions that only a priesthood of computerdom could cherish.
When “root@computername:~# shutdown -h now†could be replaced by a simple click of a mouse to switch off a computer, novices of all ages and backgrounds could climb aboard the digital bandwagon.
via Economist.comÂ